I’ve had many friends, and loves that have autism. They have declared themselves as highly functioning, or with mild autism.
It wasn’t until I met Scott, that I awakened to what I needed to know. Everything happens because of a reason.. Right, Scott? Wink. I knew there was a reason why we met, and when we ran into an autistic challenge, I didn’t handle myself well. And because I valued this connection, especially in the wake of events gone past, I had to learn from it once and for all.
Breaking down the etymology of the term autism, this is what I found:
au = gold
aut = self
ism = practice
God is gold, and people with autism are of the highest metals. Thinking about this etymology further: Autism is the practice of being in tune with the higher self — the Godly self.
To me, people with autism are vibrating on a much higher frequency. Higher beings. They are generally extremely intelligent, resourceful, deeply emotional, exceptionally sensitive, highly observational, self reflective, endearingly quirky, innocent and trusting as well as NOT trusting, beating to their own drum, with personal style and are often polite and do not want to hurt feelings. What was that about lack of empathy? I argue that they have so much, that it has to be turned down, or off. Those listed traits, are things I’ve discovered about people on the autism spectrum. And it was just after I had finished writing a list of things I valued in others: Quirky, unusual, introverted, gentle, off-the-beaten path, and vibrant. People who appreciate sub/culture, nature, art, and a little bit of personal style. And although not all people with autism are going to have these traits, I have found them in spades from people who have identified as autistic.
So guess what? I love autistic traits!
That’s not to say being with a person with autism is smooth sailing. No. It’s a mighty challenge, but they are operating on some other higher frequency. And while you probably can be the most authentic self, you’ve ever been around them – you can not just go all willy nilly. For the most part they’re not going to tolerate it, and rightly so. Or you’re going to get a backlash from it.
The majority have a way of labeling what they don’t know, and what is not like them, as disabled or faulty – when in my mind, a group of people (with a cluster of traits) are just operating out of norm or atypical. That can cause trouble as they don’t function within the majority, but that doesn’t make them inferior. Actually, given my opposite theory — they’re probably SUPERIOR!
Yes, solid GOLD.
I mean seriously, it can’t be easy putting up with the rest of us so called “normal” or “typical” folk.
Going back to empathy. I think they can have a lot of empathy but as deep as they already feel it, why would they want to feel any more for our sorry butts? They can provide genuine sympathy, when they understand the feeling. So describe it to them. Tell them exactly how you feel. And that’s going to require a lot of emotional honesty out of you. But why do they need to feel what you feel? Isn’t sympathy enough? Why would you wish another person to feel your pain? Isn’t that a bit selfish?
Autistic people teach us emotional self-management. It’s all on you (ourselves), bud! Haha Because it’s my opinion that they operate on a higher frequency, why would they be dealing with your self centered need to be taken care of in a certain way, and be noticed — even though their observational skills are MASSIVE. And actually, they DO notice you, that’s why if you don’t tone yourself down (if you’re overdone) – they’ll retreat in whichever way makes most sense to them.
So there’s no room for ego, when relating to someone who has autism, because you’ll be very disappointed, and may end up distancing yourself from some extremely wonderful people.
They say the eyes are the window of the soul, and people with autism have incredibly soulful and sensitive eyes, IF they let you see them. Physically, you may notice a largely neutral face but you can always see how they’re feeling — in their eyes! That’s a big way I have noticed how they will communicate with you. And when you’re really close, through touch. Have you heard that people with autism don’t like to be touched? That’s true, because touch can be over stimulating – especially if it’s touching a wild beast. But if you manage to cool yourself, they will warm up to you, and touch you, and it will be the most gentle and loving touch you may ever experience.
This world can be pretty ugly, and people with autism are HIGHLY sensitive, and aware of the external world. No wonder their eyes are often gentle, and fragile looking. And there’s often something so penetrating about them. That is what I’ve noticed. Of course, some people with autism also have other challenges (and potentially fiery personalities — I’m looking at you Aries!! lol) and this may alter their appearance, or behaviors; however, I tend to choose to hang around the gentler types – even though they can outburst too.
A person, with Autism, REQUIRES you to be a better person. Nothing much else will do. It requires you to dial yourself down now and then, and get out of their way.
So if you’re blessed to have a person, in your life, that has Autism — you are going to be challenged to tread lightly, and gently in the face of go(l)d and let yourself be taught. Transform, and transmute. Better yourself. Because you’ll need to, if you want to bask in the greatness of a cluster of wonderful traits, that a cluster of people with autism, have.
I couldn’t fit the thought below, into this article, but I still want to present it:
I think they have had to put up with invasion of privacy while growing up but I’m not sure what caused that. But they’re generally introverts so that’s a big no no to do to them.
And shout out to TBM – The Big Man / little fish.