Words of Wisdom: Words are Windows (or They’re Walls) – Marshall Rosenberg

December 30, 2016 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, General, Special Topics / Leave Comment

Words Are Windows (Or They’re Walls)

I feel so sentenced by your words
I feel so judged and sent away
Before I go I got to know
Is that what you mean to say?
Before I rise to my defense,
Before I speak in hurt or fear,
Before I build that wall of words,
Tell me, did I really hear?
Words are windows, or they’re walls,
They sentence us, or set us free.
When I speak and when I hear,
Let the love light shine through me.
There are things I need to say,
Things that mean so much to me,
If my words don’t make me clear,
Will you help me to be free?
If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn’t care,
Try to listen through my words
To the feelings that we share.

– Ruth Bebermeyer

My Relationship with Autism: Impressions, Theory, and Personal Reflections

February 28, 2016 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, Abella, Life Skills, Writing & Blogs / Leave Comment

I’ve had many friends, and loves that have autism. They have declared themselves as highly functioning, or with mild autism.

It wasn’t until I met Scott, that I awakened to what I needed to know. Everything happens because of a reason.. Right, Scott? Wink. I knew there was a reason why we met, and when we ran into an autistic challenge, I didn’t handle myself well. And because I valued this connection, especially in the wake of events gone past, I had to learn from it once and for all.

Breaking down the etymology of the term autism, this is what I found:

au = gold
aut = self
ism = practice

God is gold, and people with autism are of the highest metals. Thinking about this etymology further: Autism is the practice of being in tune with the higher self — the Godly self.

To me, people with autism are vibrating on a much higher frequency. Higher beings. They are generally extremely intelligent, resourceful, deeply emotional, exceptionally sensitive, highly observational, self reflective, endearingly quirky, innocent and trusting as well as NOT trusting, beating to their own drum, with personal style and are often polite and do not want to hurt feelings. What was that about lack of empathy? I argue that they have so much, that it has to be turned down, or off. Those listed traits, are things I’ve discovered about people on the autism spectrum. And it was just after I had finished writing a list of things I valued in others: Quirky, unusual, introverted, gentle, off-the-beaten path, and vibrant. People who appreciate sub/culture, nature, art, and a little bit of personal style. And although not all people with autism are going to have these traits, I have found them in spades from people who have identified as autistic.

So guess what? I love autistic traits!

That’s not to say being with a person with autism is smooth sailing. No. It’s a mighty challenge, but they are operating on some other higher frequency. And while you probably can be the most authentic self, you’ve ever been around them – you can not just go all willy nilly. For the most part they’re not going to tolerate it, and rightly so. Or you’re going to get a backlash from it.

The majority have a way of labeling what they don’t know, and what is not like them, as disabled or faulty – when in my mind, a group of people (with a cluster of traits) are just operating out of norm or atypical. That can cause trouble as they don’t function within the majority, but that doesn’t make them inferior. Actually, given my opposite theory — they’re probably SUPERIOR!

Yes, solid GOLD.
I mean seriously, it can’t be easy putting up with the rest of us so called “normal” or “typical” folk.

Going back to empathy. I think they can have a lot of empathy but as deep as they already feel it, why would they want to feel any more for our sorry butts? They can provide genuine sympathy, when they understand the feeling. So describe it to them. Tell them exactly how you feel. And that’s going to require a lot of emotional honesty out of you. But why do they need to feel what you feel? Isn’t sympathy enough? Why would you wish another person to feel your pain? Isn’t that a bit selfish?

Autistic people teach us emotional self-management. It’s all on you (ourselves), bud! Haha Because it’s my opinion that they operate on a higher frequency, why would they be dealing with your self centered need to be taken care of in a certain way, and be noticed — even though their observational skills are MASSIVE. And actually, they DO notice you, that’s why if you don’t tone yourself down (if you’re overdone) – they’ll retreat in whichever way makes most sense to them.

So there’s no room for ego, when relating to someone who has autism, because you’ll be very disappointed, and may end up distancing yourself from some extremely wonderful people.

They say the eyes are the window of the soul, and people with autism have incredibly soulful and sensitive eyes, IF they let you see them. Physically, you may notice a largely neutral face but you can always see how they’re feeling — in their eyes! That’s a big way I have noticed how they will communicate with you. And when you’re really close, through touch. Have you heard that people with autism don’t like to be touched? That’s true, because touch can be over stimulating – especially if it’s touching a wild beast. But if you manage to cool yourself, they will warm up to you, and touch you, and it will be the most gentle and loving touch you may ever experience.

This world can be pretty ugly, and people with autism are HIGHLY sensitive, and aware of the external world. No wonder their eyes are often gentle, and fragile looking. And there’s often something so penetrating about them. That is what I’ve noticed. Of course, some people with autism also have other challenges (and potentially fiery personalities — I’m looking at you Aries!! lol) and this may alter their appearance, or behaviors; however, I tend to choose to hang around the gentler types – even though they can outburst too.

A person, with Autism, REQUIRES you to be a better person. Nothing much else will do. It requires you to dial yourself down now and then, and get out of their way.

So if you’re blessed to have a person, in your life, that has Autism — you are going to be challenged to tread lightly, and gently in the face of go(l)d and let yourself be taught. Transform, and transmute. Better yourself. Because you’ll need to, if you want to bask in the greatness of a cluster of wonderful traits, that a cluster of people with autism, have.

—
I couldn’t fit the thought below, into this article, but I still want to present it:
I think they have had to put up with invasion of privacy while growing up but I’m not sure what caused that. But they’re generally introverts so that’s a big no no to do to them.
And shout out to TBM – The Big Man / little fish.

The Astrology of Menstrual Periods: Moon-Pluto

May 31, 2015 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Personal, Words of Wisdom, Special Topics / Leave Comment

The Astrology of Menstrual Periods: Moon-Pluto, the Cole’s / Cliff’s Notes

(Current transits: Sun in Gemini (communications). Moon in Scorpio (Pluto). My current transits: Moon in the 10th. Moon-Pluto. LOL… I didn’t check this until AFTER I finished the article.)

A woman’s monthly, if Aunt Flow is still visiting, can be a difficult yet wonderful time for a woman.

The Moon and Pluto rules menstruation, and that means:

Moon (Cancer): mood changes, emotional outbursts, crying, irritation, intuition, feelings, food, instinct, female and mother energy, babies, memory, nostalgia, increase of fluids, blue, stomach

Pluto (Scorpio): blood, darkness, mystery, anger, intensity, pain, renewal, elimination, death, and life, new beginnings, sexual organs, reproductive system

Moon and Pluto can form different aspects, and so too women have different experiences with their bleeding cycle for better or worst, but always transformational.

Not everyone has Moon and Pluto aspecting; however, if it were aspecting — what would it be most closely aspecting? This can give an idea as to what type of period may be had.

The squares are frustrated, and block. The opposites vacilitate from one end to the other, in a flash — depending on what provoked. Conjunctions can be good or bad, but either way — they’re powerful. The trines are easy, peasy, lazy, and introverted. The sextiles are active, energetic, and extroverted. Read semi’s too. Semi just means half the time, when activated, or less of an effect. Quintiles are a little quirky, a little freaky — maybe even kinky. Sesquares illustrates a lack of maturity, or a disability — physical or emotional therapy may help a lot. Inconjuncts or Quincunxes are a little off-balance, and need to adjust a bit — kind of harmless, in the grande scheme.

I have Moon conjunct Pluto, in the 8th house. I have good and bad periods. When they’re good, they’re Really good — and in fact, I LIKE having my periods. I even feel a little sexier, and a little more creative too. But when they’re bad, they’re really BAD. This is when a good partner, can bank some get out of jail, for free, cards.

While Pluto deals with painful experiences, it’s brother — Mars is the cause of inflammation so Pluto causes painful inflammation. And so the antidote is Venus! Chocolate, love, good food and wine, friendship, sweetness, relaxing, art, music, and justice, etc.

I would like to speak for all women here; however, I’ll just tell you what makes me happier, healthier, and a little more in love with you:

1. Ask me what I need, to feel better.
2. Rub my back / give me massage. Internal massages are good too — we’re talking Pluto here: from the inside, out and vice versa!
3. Get me soothing drink or tea, chocolate, or food that helps reduce inflammation and pain
4. Offer some soothing chat, or an anti-inflammatory drug or herb.
3. Draw me a bath, and put on some soothing music. And since the opposite is the antidote: A hot water bottle as Pluto and Moon are COLD. :) Venus/Taurus likes things warm.
4. Don’t argue with me. I’m in pain. It’s like having a huge wood splinter stuff up your penis, or having a heavy item on your toe. It’s even more tortuous when it comes and goes (contractions, cramps).
5. Don’t antagonize me. Don’t tell me, oh you’re on “the rag”. If you think that will make me happier, um. No! LOL
6. Flowers, and sweet smells are nice too.

If you don’t have a beautiful partner, you can do these things for yourself.
The quicker this is happening, the less time you’ll / she’ll be in pain. So get to it!

By the way: Any anger or sadness a woman normally feels, or things she is pissed off or emotional about, may erupt when she’s in pain. It’s nothing new either, she just can’t deal with the pain AND concealing her annoyance or disturbance at the same time. That’s the Moon at work. And she usually doesn’t like this either! Especially if she likes to come across as a strong, and independent woman (like myself).

Further tips:
Track her cycle so you have an idea of when she’ll be in pain, and when she’s feeling more emotional. Doing this will also let you know when she’s more fertile and more into you, and when to plan for trips or doing anything more active or remote.

The Astrology of Online Dating: The Danger signs — Warning Bells and Things not so Swell

May 13, 2015 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Words of Wisdom, Abella, Life Skills, Psychology / Leave Comment

Danger, danger

Online dating can be a killer — literally, and figuratively.

These days, online dating attracts a lot of men and women with difficult love, and sex natures. Liars and cheaters, are a plenty. And there’s quite a few emotionally, physically, and mentally dis-eased that will really put you through the ringer, if you don’t take care.

Of course, none of us have perfect personalities; however, a dangerous individual is not the same as a moderately flawed one.

Even if your synastry is fabulous, and cancels out strenuous natal behaviors — the moment you stop dating (if that were to happen), watch out. Your loved one may very well revert right back to their OWN chart and the behaviors that come with it.

Draw up a chart on any prospect, and believe what you see — unless you want to test it out.

The squares are frustrated, and block. The opposites vacillate from one end to the other, in a flash — depending on what provoked. Conjunctions can be good or bad, but either way — they’re powerful. The trines are easy, peasy, lazy, and introverted. The sextiles are active, energetic, and extroverted. Read semi’s too. Semi just means half the time, when activated, or less of an effect. Quintiles are a little quirky, a little freaky — maybe even kinky. Sesquares illustrates a lack of maturity, or a disability — physical or emotional therapy may help a lot. Inconjuncts or Quincunxes are a little off-balance, and need to adjust a bit — kind of harmless, in the grande scheme. They also cause aversion.

Every celestial object can become a romance planet or object; however, I find these are the ones that can make the most impact at the get-go:

Moon, Venus, and Mars in aspect to Jupiter, Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, and Chiron.

Warning bells

Here are some example Deal breakers, in my book. And I’ll add my little quips, as time goes on.

Venus square Pluto Jealous, manipulative, subversive, under cover obsession, insecure. Giving you the love drug, that can only be got from them. Be aware, from the get-go. They’ll make their problems, yours. Giving you everything you ever wanted, at a price. You’ll be intoxicated by them, and don’t ever leave them or revenge (often silent, and can be deadly) is on its way.
Venus opposite Pluto Love, hate. War of the roses. When you’re together, it’s all good but if you ever break up, you’ll experience the hate. A hate you never fathomed they could feel for you. And it will feel extreme, because it’s so out of character. Even if your synastry dissolves or balances out their Venus opp Pluto, once you’ve broken up — they go right back to THEIR chart alone. And now they’re in survival, and self-protection mode. Beware.
Venus square Saturn This can go either way. On the more positive side, it can mean that the person likes a 7+ year age difference, and that might be okay for them, but somehow still cause some friction or overcoming of obstacles to get there. On the warning side — this person can not love. So be sure to invest as little emotionally, as you will, at the get-go or not at all. It will take them a long time, if ever to warm up to you and share their love. There will be crises around an old appearance,etc. and the relationship may never get off the ground.
Venus opposition Saturn You’ve got a great partner, if Venus and Saturn are aspected. But with the opposition, you get a: Now I’m with you, and now I won’t. This native promises to love you, shows you affection, and then takes it away. What you can be left with is cold confusion. And to be fair, the native is just as confused, and also afraid of commitment. They pull back, when things get hard. And they pull back when things are sweet. You will have to have much patience with this person, and bank on it never working out, in the end unless they’re going to do something about their vacillation. Sometimes they want commitment, and sometimes they don’t. The best find is Venus trine, sextile, or even a conjunction to Saturn. These natives accept, and often expect love and relationships to be work, and will work at it for years to come. In some cases, the opposition might reflect a desire for a much younger, or much older partner. Again, one can have their cake and eat it too. Either find a partner who is old, but young at heart. Or young, but old at heart. The oppositions are about integration. I have been doing a little research on this aspect, and I have found it Doing research on love / attachment styles. Watch for Venus opposition Saturn, and Uranus. Need for closeness vs freedom. DISMISSIVE style. Ask them take the quiz to find out if they’re a Dismissive type partner. Learn more about attachment styles.
Mars square Pluto Are you in for a beating? Verbal, physical, spiritual, emotional or otherwise? These guys and gals can be mean and cold, and make you “pay for it”. It is whatever transgression they think you did, not what you actually did, that will get you into hot water. And are you prepared to submit to an insatiable, and possibly out of norm sexual romp on rough and tumble rocks? This native is going to want to dominate you, to be sure. And not in a nice way.
Mars opposite Pluto No, you can not win with this one. Be prepared to do their bidding. They don’t respect what you want. Only what THEY want. Are you prepared for psychological warfare, that you didn’t see coming? Figuratively, you’ll feel like you were given the date rape drug.
Mars square Neptune They may have an STD, or other partner, major prospect, or love interest they’re not telling you about. They may even cheat on you sexually. But you sure will be in sexual ecstasy — the kind that goes bad, really bad after the dirty deed is done. The kind that makes you want to shower on end. They could be addicted to something that will bring you down in the end. Everything in excess: Drugs, sex, alcohol, and rock and roll. These are your wannabe rock-stars. Want to be a wannabe groupie? And at the end of the day, you might not even get into the promised land hotel room anyway.
Mars opposite Neptune They could fake an orgasm, or lie to you about who else they’re dating.

Pay attention to what houses the planets are in. Is their Mars in the 5th or 7th house or the 3rd or 12th? It will tell you a lot about where and how they manifest these energies.

Lesser effect

These are things to watch out for, but may not be deal breakers.

Moon square Pluto Their emotions are damaging. If it’s a guy, they have mommy / woman issues. They’re unlikely to be a feminist or pro women. They can cut you up, and toy with your emotions — making you feel unworthy, and dirty.
Moon opposite Pluto This one will attempt to manipulate your emotions. At first they’ll collect your feelings, and experiences and coddle you out of the wazzoo. But if you ever do anything to “hurt them”, they’ll use what they learned against you.
Venus square Jupiter They skimp out on love, and cuddles. Don’t expect a lot of, “I love you’s”. These guys and gals are single for a long time, and it’s because they block love. They detract. They’re not sweet. They have an aversion to being lovey dovey. And they can cheat on you romantically.
Venus opposite Jupiter When they love you, it’s over the top. But when they’re not in love with you, but everyone else in the world — yuck, that’s hard to swallow! So keep pulling him back to his or her home turf.
Venus trine Jupiter You can bet this one has a lot of admirers, with no work at all. Unless they have other good aspects, like Venus trine Saturn, watch out. You may have a cheater on your hands. Or you’ll worry too much that they will. These folks can be the Ludus type, playful lovers.
Venus sextile Jupiter If the opportunity presents themselves to shower you with love, like your birthday, they will. They can also attract admirers, but they have to work at it. Keep them happy, and they’ll be loyal to you. These folks can be the Ludus type, playful lovers.
Venus square Neptune They never pick the “right ones,” for them. And you’re not it either. Sorry. So you’ll have to work on making yourself VERY real from the get-go, and not letting them fall into fantasy land. You may not know if what you’re experiencing is real love. And when you feel real love, you may hide it. Or you may pretend that you don’t love them. Or the opposite. This is a tough one to have. Causes much confusion, and uncertainty.
Venus opposite Neptune They thought you were “the one”, but then you do something that turns them off to the reality of imperfection. It’s not you; it’s them. Remind them about how truly “magical” you are, together.
Mars square Uranus These guys and gals get shockingly mad, in a flash. It’s startling. If you’re not the type to agitate, you may be okay. The flame will likely die down, as quickly as it rose. But if you’re a trouble maker yourself, avoid this one.
Mars opposite Uranus
Venus square Uranus They have no problems breaking up with you, in a flash. Don’t give your heart out to this one. Anyway, they usually do you a favor in that they’re not the type you can get close to very easily anyway. But you’re at your own peril, if you push it. Watch out for long distance relationships. These types look for that sort of thing, and it won’t be good for you. An LDR that happens out of the blue, may be okay, but not when they have this aspect. In synastry it can be fine such as one of you being traveling in your work, but it’s also something to pay attention to.
Venus opposite Uranus The on and off again romance. Now you see me, now you don’t. Love at a distance. Love close, at hand. These natives, are unsure of what they want. Do they want love (Leo), or freedom (Aquarius)? Sometimes they’re like a Venus Aquarius, and other times a Venus in Leo. You don’t know whether to be warm and fuzzy with them, proclaiming your love or cool and distant, having some cool and analytical friendly conversations. The oppositions need to learn that they can have BOTH, but they need to harmonize, and sympathize with their partner. Your prospective date might be the DISMISSIVE style. Ask them take the quiz to find out if they’re a Dismissive type partner. Learn more about attachment styles.

Something to think about

Venus square or opposite Chiron Love does not heal them. Love hurts them, and you’re the lover that’s going to or is hurting them.
Mercury square Mars They’re ornery. Not very kindly. You’re going to get a lot of negative chatter out of this one. They especially don’t get along well with men, in conversation.
Mercury square Saturn They are not good at keeping secrets or serious conversation. Bad combo.
Mercury square Venus They especially don’t know how to get along with women, in conversation. They’re communication style is irritating, and not smooth.
Moon square Venus They don’t know how to comfort you.
Venus square Mars They can easily fight or cause friction with their partner. They don’t have a good handle on their yin and yang.
Venus opposition Mars They don’t have a good handle on what they want, out of relating.

With Saturn it either means the thing will get off the ground, or it won’t. Not much to worry about there, at the start. But down the road, Saturn is the “glue” as they say. So if that isn’t doing well, your relationship may not last. As can be seen, finding “the one” is tricky business. Good luck, and God speed.

Note

I’m sorry dear reader if you have any of these aspects, and I’ve painted your dating and romance life, poorly. I’ve noted the “dark” side of challenging aspects, and not how they can be overcome or be positive. It takes a very well-adjusted, self-improvement oriented person, to get beyond these aspects. And for those that don’t have these aspects, but see them in your prospect — they may have overcome the challenges, but what if they haven’t? Do you want to spend time fiddling with their issues? You know astrology, or can get an astrology reading — use it to your dating advantage. While I’m willing to work with a little spice, my Venus Virgo wants a break from these fixer uppers. I can take maybe one or two of them IF they have some good aspects like Moon-Venus-Mercury and Venus-Saturn in good aspect. Otherwise, I’m not interested as I’ve tested these aspects out enough to know their chart is right. And if you’re a native, with a difficult aspect, maybe fess up at the start of dating someone you like. Let them know what love / romance / dating challenges you face, and you might find it helps you out a lot. Let them know your love attachment, and style!

Extra

If I have the time or inclination, I can tell you how to find someone compatible to you online. A little tip, for now: Sun, Venus, in good aspect, and in synastry are good ideas. So if your Sun is a Taurus, search for a Venus Virgo, Taurus, Capricorn, Scorpio, Pisces, or Cancer. How do you do that, since Sun signs are all that are shown? Each planet takes awhile to get into gear, and you take into account the preferred Sun sign of your partner too. So there are only so many Virgo Suns with Scorpio Venus in the age range you desire to date. So you check the ephemeris for the years you want to check, and find that combination or Venus. An easier way may be looking at a past loves good Venus, and using their year of birth to find the one for you online. You can change up the Sun sign with that too.

And if you can find out their Moon, that is helpful too. So if your Venus is in Aries, search for a partner with a Moon in Sag, Leo, or Aries — which can be just as good as a Sun connection, though not as powerful. Moons in the same element, or exact same sign are amazing for feeling secure. A Moon synastry conjunction is quite powerful. As powerful as the Sun!

Aphorisms of Abella Arthur

March 3, 2015 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, Abella, Life Skills, Quotes, Philosophy / Leave Comment

“Do it with joy, or don’t do it at all.”. Because to do it any other way, would taint the beauty of the giving.

Do not compromise your needs. You may find another way than what you originally thought of, but it then ought to become what you want – not a compromise!

We can not see ourselves so we were provided people, as mirrors, to reflect our appearance. All tools are given to us to better ourselves, and our circumstances. It’s up to us to face the truth of how we appear to others. What we see in others is a reflection of ourselves for better or worse. Own that reflection: Joy in its goodness, and transmute its lack of kindness – with self and other. Seeing yourself through the false, man made mirror of self – stunts growth, and reality. Go forth with strength and fortitude. Embrace truth on your own terms, through others.

Others do not define you. YOU define you. THEIR judgements, observations, opinions, and assumptions belong to them, not you. And what they say about you, is quite often a projection of how the person feels about themselves, and their stuff. They may not want to own it, but it’s not yours to own. Turn it around, ask them: Is that how you feel / going on in YOUR life? How you feel about me (if someone tells you how you feel about them)? Or… How you feel about yourself? This is especially important if what they’re saying is a big off-the-wall thing they’ve said, and is coming out of “left field”. And you may even see them do a double-take as they reflect on how very much their comment is NOT about you. Yet, if you feel that what others say has some validity, and interest to you — I implore you to explore it. Do not deny it. Just remember that you have the last say in how you see yourself, for better or worse. You are only responsible for YOUR feelings and thoughts. By the way, we ALL project (yes, me too LOL). It’s how we’re built. But if you know the law of opposites, you’ll be able to put things in better perspective and lead a more enjoyable life — free from the hell of other people. So the next time you get a head-scratcher, turn the comments backwards, upside down, to the other side and THEN see if it makes sense. Most of the time it does, and as I said it has *nothing* much to do with you at all. But IF it does, fess up butter cup.

Other people come before you.
Don’t hurt other people.

Stay quiet; listen. You’ll be amazed at what is learned. Share; be wonderful. You’ll be amazed at what others didn’t know.

Learn what makes people happy, and ego aside – DO it… as long as it’s within your own value structure. Get creative, if at first it doesn’t appear that it is.

Know what your bare essentials for living are. Know what you’re bare keepsakes are. Don’t worry about the rest. Electronically record your most valuable possessions such as music, books, photographs, people, etc. For these things can be replace, eventually. If they can’t, enjoy the recorded memory.

Keep your most important documents, at hand. Electronically scan and protect them.

Listen to, and/or ask for someone’s story at least once a day. You’ll be surprised.

False fear is an opportunity to take the bull by the horns, and have an adventure.

It’s pretty much always better than imagined. You’re resilient. Stop imagining, and just go do it.

Take, time, out.

Have faith. It will ALL work out as intended, no matter how miserable and nasty it may first appear. Don’t take heart.

Money is needed to live on this rock, but money isn’t everything. When you’re on your death bed, ready to grasp the spiritual side of life — you’ll know it’s the souls (locked up in bodies) you should have spent more time investing in. Don’t wait.

Personify negative feelings and thoughts. Acknowledge them – say Helllo, but then get on with what you were doing. If the negative thought is pushy, aggressive, and monopolizing your good time – you may want to have a talk with it. You could let it control you, or you can be its wisdom guide, and give it a hug. Keep your core steady. If the negative thought won’t give it up, walk away from it. It’s not being very polite or friendly to you, afterall. So why give it any more time in your day?

July 28, 2014 at 11:43pm ·

“The true value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it.” Or said differently: You may know how much you value something by the amount of energy (resources — ie time, money, effort) and intent you put into it. How much do you value yourself? Compared to others? If you haven’t been putting energy and intent into YOURSELF, start doing so. And if you haven’t been putting energy and intent into OTHERS, get going on that good work! We live in a world of opposites. “The Secret” doesn’t work for all (or always work), but OPPOSITE Living does.

© Abella Arthur

Language: The Divine of the Higher Mind vs 3rd House Frivilous Speech

December 28, 2014 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Words of Wisdom, General, Houses / Leave Comment

Thinking about language again…

Advocates of this school of thought point out that words are cheap. As digital hallucinations, they are intrinsically unreliable. Should an especially clever ape, or even a group of articulate apes, try to use words in the wild, they would carry no conviction. The primate vocalizations that do carry conviction — those they actually use — are unlike words, in that they are emotionally expressive, intrinsically meaningful and reliable because they are relatively costly and hard to fake. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_language#Ritual.2Fspeech_coevolution

After watching Frequencies / OXV: The Manual (a philosophy / outlook I believe in and talk a lot about in small dosages… it’s along the thinking style shared in my article: The Prison Planet), I thought about what makes one person’s speech resonate on a higher level than anothers.

I think different words, have a different vibrations and therefore a different impact and response to them, once heard or read. I also believe that words are magical, and are supposed to be used for magic making (incantations / spells); however, eventually language got into the hands of the world’s people but they had to be taught to not make much use of it. This is why a lot of people don’t have much to say, nothing original, meaningful, etc…Most of us have been dumbed down (Tower of Babylon) to avoid provoking a meaningful spell on the world’s people. We’re in language lock-down.

I thought of writing out the same idea with different words. I mean, there can be 100+ words that mean the same thing but have a different impact. So which of the following sentences (that essentially mean the same thing) have a higher or lower frequency? And I use the word frequency within the context of physics or astronomy — how you “feel”, and after hearing or reading something.

Which sentence leaves a lasting impression, or quickest and most forceful impact of meaning? This illustrates higher and lower frequency in speech, and therefore in how you interact with another human being.

I fancy wellness.
I like happiness.
I enjoy eudaemonia.
I appreciate comfort.
I espouse strength.

What we say, and how we string our words together — matters. Not so much the words in and of themselves but the sound vibration and level of frequency. And this is why self-talk, and CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) affects us greatly. When we speak, it matters.

While I use English words, consider the sounds of other languages. French is known as the romantic language, and I find Egyptian Arabic to have a soothing sound to it, when spoken by women. What I’m saying here is that the sound or look of the word can mean more than the words.

Venus: Relationships (Libra-Aries) & Love (Taurus-Scorpio)

November 14, 2014 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Planets, Signs, Words of Wisdom / Leave Comment

Note: I’m heterosexual, and this article is written with a personal blog perspective. While my writing could be applied to all forms of relating, this is what I know best and I tend to enjoy writing from experience.

Ask yourself these two questions:

Do you want the relationship you’re currently in, or to be in one?
Do you want to love the person you’re with, or be in love?

What are you (Aries) doing about it, to create and loving and vibrant relationship (Libra) for you and your person of interest?

The first question I’ve asked — asks for a commitment (Libra), and dedication (Taurus). The second question asks for vulnerability (Aries), and passion (Scorpio). Yes, a healthy Aries is vulnerable because they’re strong.

If you’ve noticed, I haven’t asked about having sex (Mars).

Frankly, I strongly believe (and astrology indicates this) if you don’t have #1 and #2 (Venus) first, then having #3 (Mars) is often a sure disaster. And while some people believe it takes a long time to love someone, I don’t agree. But I do think it can take a long time to see if someone is compatible, but that’s the logic side of Libra — not love (Taurus).

To be personal, I had sex fairly quickly (within two weeks) with my ex husband but we then became joined at the hip and we were together for 10 years. But the most important thing I discovered was that #1 — he wanted to be in a relationship AND #2 — he loved me rather quickly (love at first sight), so it made sense to have #3.

These days it seems like a lot of guys want to skip #1 and #2 for themselves, and go straight to #3 (Mars) BUT expect YOU to do #1 and #2 (Venus) all on your own. Waaaaa?? LOL Yeah buddy, it doesn’t work that way. Good try though. LOL

They don’t want to commit because it’s like a dating buffet out here on the internet and they’re abusing the nonsensical friends with benefits (fwb) arrangement aka FREE SEX. And they don’t want to be vulnerable, unless or in place of you being vulnerable because… eh, I haven’t figured that one out yet. Anyone know??

But the full package is Venus and Mars. That’s Venus combined with Mars. Venus without Mars, and Mars without Venus is not a full romantic relationship — it’s sex or it’s friendship but it’s not both.

“Careful consideration of your options and goals will lead to wiser choices at the times of activity, and a gradual transformation from self-preoccupation to becoming more aware of the rights and feelings of others will be a great step for you to make.” Source: Astromatrix

Not even the proverbial fwb person is really a friend. Why? Because at it’s core, this arrangement lacks respect. And your true friend will respect you, and vice versa. So if you’re respecting (2nd house – Taurus) yourself, your friend, and vice versa — you’re not having an fwb situation. Fwb is a misnomer. Yes, Venus is related to friendship and Mars is related to sex BUT if the man REALLY likes you (the logic part of Libra) — he’ll want more than just sex with you. He’ll want you all to himself (Aries). And he’ll focus on Love (Taurus), and commitment(Libra). Fwb lacks love. Fwb is missing something. Fwb is seriously flawed, and like an aberration. Fwb is more of an Aquarius, 11th house, Uranian thing. An acquaintance. Fwb is a Mars-Uranus arrangement, that leaves the female (Venus) out of the picture. Her Venusian wants, and desires are left out of the equation. Uranian energy is discordant, and the fwb arrangement is inconjunct to Venus (Taurus) even though it appeals to a side of Venus (Libra trines Aquarius).

Anyway, fwb is like a whole other article or BOOK. Is there a book out there yet on this subject? Could be… lol

The Social Psychology of Takers & Givers & Why It’s So Wrong

June 13, 2013 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, Abella, Teaching, Philosophy / Leave Comment

Do people understand that eventually if they keep “taking”, the “giver” is going to stop giving?

Some guy on a blog said there needs to be givers and takers for an equal balance, but said straight-up that most people are “takers”. Well, if most people are “takers”, and few are givers (I’m one) — then how the heck does that work?

I agree with him that ideally there are takers and givers between us; however, in equal or reciprocal measure. I take sometimes, you give sometimes, it switches — and it all works out in the end without keeping score.

But eventually the givers will stop giving because you don’t have to keep score to notice you’re on the losing end (giving, and giving and others taking, and taking).

I imagine the takers will go elsewhere when the giving stops. And if they never appreciated what they got, I guess then it doesn’t really matter — good riddance to them.

But it’s unfortunate when I have to hold back (against my own very generous nature) because there are too many takers ready to suck me dry. In other words, it comes down to me doing self-care, self-interest, and self-responsibility.

And if people, in general, gave more — I wouldn’t have to concern myself with holding back. I wouldn’t have to think about not exhausting myself, or avoid giving too much so I don’t give the message that it’s okay to use me — when it’s not.

But I’m Sun Leo in the 7th (ruled by Venus, Juno, Libra) and have Jupiter-Uranus Libra — so my views are a little skewed or screwed! LOL

Quinn commented on FB post I wrote about this topic: I can see why the business world was needed, most people are too tight fisted and have to be practically forced to hand over their cash. And I believe that to be sadly true. Another commenter said that they think it’s a “fear of loss”, “so they hold on so tight to what they have”. And another said, “I think people fear maybe that the giving will cease, and fear makes us all fucking stupid.”

What I find strange is that Takers like to think of themselves as decent people. And they are the first to say they don’t want to be lied to, cheated, or used — so they will go out of their way NOT to give you anything for fear of that happening… which means the have NO Problem doing that to you, even if you give to them!! LMAO… Can we get a Hell Yeah for PROJECTION?!?!?!

My mind boggles and bobbles at some people’s antics.
A selfish “friend” of mine said the other day that he had “nothing to give”… Oh My G! Really?! I will give these people the benefit of a doubt, and figure their sense of worth is soooo low that all they think they should be doing is taking since they feel they have NOTHING but that’s farthest from the truth.

I said, Can you help out? Can you move things? Can you do an errand? Can you make me a coffee? Can you use your musical talents to brighten my day?! I mean seriously, it’s as COP OUT to say you have nothing and the other person has everything so you must take from them.

Admit it: You’re selfish, and/or you feel worthless. And the one way for you to feel better is to take from those that aren’t, and don’t.

Some Guy’s Thoughts on Givers and Takers

My notes are in (parentheses) and in red.

A comment from the website, LovePanky, regarding an article on How to Stop Selfish People from Hurting You — How can you recognize a selfish friend or partner, and how do you stop them from affecting your life? Find out how to deal with selfish people here.

“their are two types of people.
givers and takers. in order for a relationship to work you have to have a balance between the two

two takers will never work for obvious reasons (Very true)

two givers will work but only for so long until (Not true)

a giver is a person that likes to please people (TRUE!), and will go out of their way to do so (Because they want you to enjoy life as much as possible!!), givers how ever want appreciation in return (um, yeah!!), and two givers wont work because they will fight for appreciation , i know it sounds ridiculous (say what?!) but its true.

(Yes, I DO want appreciation but two givers CAN work. You BOTH appreciate each other. This guy is likely a Taker and doesn’t understand reciprocity in the first place. LOL.. Oh and you don’t have to “fight” for appreciation — just give it, where and when appropriate. hehe).

the reason why a giver and a taker work so well, is because they compliment each others personalities. one will be appreciated, the other will be content (if you’re being used, I’m not sure how the taker is appreciating that beyond seeing you as LESS than them and feeling smug about that), the fact is that there are more takers in the world then their are givers (can I get a Yeah-HA… you nasties… LOL), identify who who are and be honest with what you want, all humans are selfish in the end (well, this is true… more or less… due to humans wanting to survive but there’s a difference between greed, being selfish vs. sharing and being self-interested)“.

From All Things Healing, June’s Top Five Astro-Events by Michael Wolfstar

Jupiter enters Cancer on the 26th where it remains through mid-July 2014. Empathy increases tremendously over the coming year, allowing a renewed spirit of generosity, forgiveness and tolerance to enhance all relationships, especially between family members. Over the next three weeks, as Mercury retrogrades through Cancer, think about where you can feel most at home.

Astrology: The 2nd House of WORTH

June 11, 2013 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Words of Wisdom, Houses / 4 Comments

When we know the language of astrology, we can all be gurus…

All language is divine, and astrology is no different. Astrology is essentially a bible of sorts. A way to live. A guiding path or light, in dark days.

The second house has the sign of Taurus, ruled by Venus on its house cusp. Taurus is part of the element of Earth and it closely connects to Saturn (Capricorn), and Virgo (Vesta).

To learn more about the 2nd house, check out my full length article on the different aspects and themes.

We connect money to worth because money is one possible result of spending time (Saturn) and effort (Virgo/Vesta, sacrificial hard work).

Some people who have low self-esteem, low self-worth, or with the tendency of placing others above or before them — may give a lot of their time and effort (Taurean Venus-Saturn investment) without an equal level of return (money, love, appreciation, etc. — all 2nd house, Taurus, Venus themes), and when that happens — they feel used (ie Venus Square Saturn) and can give less (ie less love, 2nd house, Taurus, Venus themes). So people with low self-esteem, low self-worth, etc. may ALSO be takers, or become takers.

Many people are judged by much they are worth.

And your value can be based on a number of factors such as: How much money you have, who you know, and your status. But it can also be based on ROI – Return on Investment (eh, maybe business school was worth it after all! :P) — what potential you have to give back, or what you give back when someone else invests in you.

In my opinion — a smart, emotionally detached, and conscious person would say: If I put my time, and effort (and maybe money and other resources) into X — what are the chances that I will get anything back from X?

I don’t ask that question enough — maybe because the answer might not be what I want to discover.

When a person is of good stock or character, the ROI is often high.

Sometimes you will lose (giving to others), and sometimes you will gain (taking from others) — but in the end, when there’s a healthy give and take (Libra, Venus) — all are usually happy. And if you can’t give, you can’t truly love (Venus, 2nd House).

So when someone thinks you’re unworthy, they are saying that they think they’ll get less out of you, then they put into you — like a bank account (Taurus) that earns interest or not.

And if you think you’re unworthy, it may be because you do not give of your time, effort, and/or resources while taking what is not yours to really receive.

In that case, it would be true — that yes, you are indeed unworthy in that situation, event, circumstance, or as it relates to that person (as in — within a relationship) but only because you’ve made it a point to take rather than give.

And that’s how you can gain self-esteem and self-worth — by giving to others, without the thought of receiving, if you are historically a taker.

Because givers, who feel upset about others not appreciating what they give, actually DO have good self-worth and understand their value is high. That is unless the act of constant giving, and not taking — wears down on their own self-esteem and sense of value.

So the lesson of givers is to be in balance by taking a trip over to the 8th house (Pluto, Scorpio, who is co-ruled by Mars) — where they learn to accept and encourage people to give of their resources to them! They can also be in balance by giving to themselves, through the 2nd house.

The old saying goes: You need to spend money, to make money.
So you need to give, to get.
And if you are already giving, without getting — STOP.

You’ve spent too much, and profits will be slim or non-existent!

And if you’re getting, without giving and vice versa — there’s a cost to such an opportunity.

Eventually what you get, is going to dry up and you will also lose the opportunity of enjoying genuine self-esteem and self-worth. Or your self-worth and self-esteem will plummet, if you’ve been traditionally a giver.

So make the right decision.

Balance out your 2nd-8th opposition.

If you have been a taker, learn to give. Spend more, conserve less.

If you have been a giver, learn to take. Spend less, conserve more.

Namaste.

Abella

States or Stages of Relationship: Labelling

May 28, 2013 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, Abella, Houses / Leave Comment

Note: I’m writing this, as if this were about me – it isn’t. At least not right now. :) It’s just a good way for me to write, placing myself in the shoes of each “relationship” type, so the writing is personal. Sorry for the confusion! :D

Current Mundane Transit: Naturally wrote during VOC Moon Capricorn. Naturally published during Moon Aquarius. Naturally means, with little or no forethought.

I’m a woman, interested in relationships with men, so I’m using the term boyfriend.

How do I label who is who?! Okay, lets break it down…

Me (1st house, Aries): I’m alone. I’m fully independent. This is my time with me, myself, and I. I do on my own. I enjoy on my own. I make decisions on my own, unfettered by the wishes of others.

How to Have a Relationship with Yourself

Six Ways to Deepen Your Relationship with Yourself

The Greatest Love of All: Developing a Relationship with Self

Friend (11th house, Aquarius): A casual friend, associate, or acquaintance is someone I see or talk to and/or see once or twice a month — maybe even only a handful of times a year. We are not involved in each others personal lives, in any great way. We mostly meet for the enjoyment of mutual interests, and causes. Distance is welcomed. And opinions are often fixed, with no overt desire for them to be on your side.

*Aries is Sextile Aquarius — they get along quite easily. In other words, one can can lead to the other quite easily. So You can be friends with people easily. Aquarius is more detached, and friend oriented so it will naturally accept the independence of Aries and not get wrapped up in its fiery nature. Basically it’s not a stretch. And Me (Aries) can become a boyfriend (Leo) because they are in Trine to each other.

4 Ways to be a Good Friend

Different Degrees of Friendship (Christian Angle)

Boyfriend (5th house, Leo): A boyfriend is someone I talk to almost, maybe even, every day. They care about my well-being. They are involved in my personal life. They help out wherever and whenever they can, with or without request. The do thoughtful things like giving me a massage when I complain of fatigue, picking me up a coffee on their way over to my place, surprising me with a home cooked meal or a poem, etc. We socialize two to three times a week. They attend most special occasions such as holiday events with family, my birthday, a work function, etc. They attend many recreational events with me. They’ve met my most important friends, and family.

Friends (Aquarius) may not turn into boyfriends. It can be an easier leap from Me to Lover / Lust (5th house) but I strongly prefer getting to know people, over time. Growing from the cool Aquarius friendship, to a warmer Leo relationship. :)

7 Ways to be a Good Boyfriend

Being a Good Boyfriend

Companion / Lover (5-11th house, Aquarius-Leo): A companion is between a friend, and a boyfriend. This is someone whom I could speak to a few times a week. They may not care much about my well-being, and tend to have a more self-involved nature. That’s good, because that means I can be more self-involved too without having to concern myself about meeting obligations that would come with a boyfriend or spouse. I have a lot of fun with this person, and they brighten my life mentally, emotionally, and maybe even physically (FWB). They are not generally seeking to better my life other than through their presence! They know about some of my personal life, but don’t really get involved with helping me solve my personal problems. We know when to give space, take time and back off, and when to see each other again. We don’t get bothered by this inconsistency. We may see each other once a week, or a handful of times a month. They might be counted on for the occasional need, upon request. They attend only the most important social gatherings.

Aquarius and Leo do not get along as much (being in opposition) but there’s still a solid connection. The Companion is the odd man out! This is really the limbo and unpredictable state — bouncing back and forth between feeling close, and feeling detached. Feeling like there’s something more, and feeling like there’s something less — or that they’re could be. Sun Opposite Uranus. So this connection type can have a hard time figuring out if they’re coming or going.

Definition of Casual Relationship

Are you having a Casual Relationship?

* I couldn’t find many good links on how to be a good companion. Maybe because it’s a cross between a friend and a boyfriend, and has a hazy definition because of that. After-all, it covers two houses! :) Frankly, it could go either way — at any time!

Spouse or Committed Partner (7th house, Libra/Juno): A spouse or partner is my right hand man. We are two peas in a pod, and come as a unit. Unless it’s a “me day” with friends, when I’m invited somewhere, it’s expected my spouse is invited too. They know pretty much everyone I know. We speak to each other daily, and hang out often, though we may not have as many fun outings together as we are busy attempting to achieve our ambitions. It’s part work, and part play — whereas a boyfriend or companion is mostly focused on pleasure and friendship — not work. They seek out information about my personal life, so they can help me solve problems that get in the way of our dreams and ambitions. Decisions are made together, as we’re aware that whatever the other does — affects BOTH of us. A spouse or committed partner is a friend, companion, and boyfriend — they fill all roles and we know we’ve made a commitment through sickness, and health — until death (including divorce) do us part. Being a spouse is a lot of work, but there’s lots of rewards too. A shared vision of ambition (even if the ambition is to do nothing!) is essential for survival.

Libra and Leo, Sextile — so get along quite easily. In other words, one can can lead to the other quite easily. So a boyfriend, can lead to a husband quite easily. However, a Me (Aries) does not make the leap to You (Libra) — You and I in a permanent relationship — very easily. Having said that, Me (Aries) can make a good leap to Boyfriend (5th H / us).

4 Ways to be a Good Husband

7 Ways to be a Great Husband

How to Be a Good Wife

…

Serious relationships start in the 1st house (a relationship with yourself), and end in the 7th house (a relationship with other). Then in between you have boyfriends and girlfriends (5th house), and casual friendships (11th house).

When a love interest wants more from you, they need to be willing to give more. There’s a saying:

Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.

The Prison Planet: Uncommon Yet Plausible Thoughts Regarding The Purpose of Man on Earth

May 22, 2013 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Planets, Words of Wisdom, Abella, Teaching, Philosophy, Special Topics / Leave Comment

I’m not a religious person, by much of anyone’s standards.

I went to Baptist churches until I was around seven years old. My mom was a non-practicing Catholic from the East coast of Canada. And I’ve got Inuit (Eskimo) in me.

I consider myself spiritual.

I’ve participated in a coven, been a solitary witch, connected to paganism, investigated Scientology, practiced Buddhism, explored the Universal Unitarian church due to all its diversity, played around with various psychic and earth practices, converted to Islam in my early twenties (connected to marriage) and haven’t practiced it since the 90’s, and looked into Jewish mysticism.

But I found a lot of it to be lacking.

While I’m not a fair weather friend, and I’m very loyal (Venus Trine Saturn) — I’m not loyal to religion or a spiritual practice unless it continues to serve my highest good (Sag on 11th/12th, Jupiter in the 9th).

So if I’m to be anything religious, astrology is my religion. It still continues to serve my highest good.

However, I think most religions have something of value to share with us.

I’m telling you all this because what I’m about to say might sound religious, and I hope you’ll put what I say into the context of my experiences, and knowledge.

Also, if you’re a highly sensitive person who is currently ungrounded — you may want to skip what I’m about to say until you’ve got your feet firmly planted.

Uncommon Yet Plausible Thoughts Regarding The Purpose of Man on Earth

I think we’re all prisoners, and that human beings have sinned or transgressed. Earth is a huge jail. Saturn is our warden. Saturn is the devil. The devil governs or rules Earth — not God. This is a God forsaken planet! Though the concept of God, rules ALL. God intervenes when the Devil / Saturn has went to far, and we’ve prayed for help. Sometimes, we still won’t get help. Our souls (Neptune, spirit) are encased in walking jail cells (note our body is made up of cells!). We have a sentence to carry out, and there’s no “get out of jail for free” card. Though we may get to check out earlier, for good behavior or for incorrect incarceration. We’re here to redeem ourselves so we get off, and stay off this rock — unless we want to come back to help those who are struggling to get off. Our bodies, are shackles (or walking prison cells)– keeping our spirit (Neptune) bound to the earth (Saturn). Natally I have Saturn (in the 4th) Opposition Neptune (in the 10th) so these thoughts are ones I’ve played with quite a bit. Some people want to fly, or escape — feeling chained in. Suicide is incredibly frowned upon, because we have a sentence to live out. If a person does this, they will hang in a holding cell (purgatory), until they’re processed and sent straight back to prison (Earth) with an even longer and harder sentence! Think about a prisoner escaping, and being caught from a traditional jail. Not a good option, my friend. To that end, we keep coming back (re-incarnation) until we’ve elevated ourselves — nirvana. (ie non-attachment, surrendering, allowing, etc). Some can reach Nirvana on Earth, but from what I understand they quickly die thereafter. I’m a sinner too. Why else am I on this planet? Could I be an angel on Earth? Possibly. But no matter what, I’ve at one time sinned, and I continue to sin. In archery, the term SIN means: Missed the mark! I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and experienced a lot of pain. And with that, I learn. I grow. I am highly motivated to get off this rock, once my sentence has been served. When I get a jail pass, I attempt to elevate myself by doing good, helping others succeed and grow, and enjoy the spirit/matter creations of others and myself (music, artwork, nature, etc.)

So what about most of us wanting to LIVE, and not die? If earth contains a bunch of heartaches, stress, disease, etc.. maybe we want to live because we realize we haven’t rehabilitated ourselves yet, and that we’ll have to come back if we haven’t cleared our debt. Once we do, heaven is on our side. But it also could be to keep us living, to finish out our sentence. We have a sentence to carry out, and we need to WANT to carry it out. We could also be theatre, for the Gods. Truly, it seems that the ones that die young — are the luckiest. “The good die young”. And when people say, “There in a better place. Inherently, they know that to be true!” Living on Earth, is no easy task. But sometimes, we’re able to have enough fun to forget about how hard it is. These rewards help us to keep working towards redeeming, and rehabilitating.

Also of note is the Uranus Return, that happens around 84. Uranus, ruling Aquarius (who is co-ruled by Saturn), is about freedom — freedom from Saturn’s restriction. And as an Air planet — detaching itself from matter (the body, Earth, Saturn). A lot of people will die or get sick around this age or when Saturn/Uranus crosses an angle, or enters one of the houses of endings (4,8,12). Basically they will have served their sentence, and so their body dies to free their spirit. Uranus, Pluto, and Saturn are planets that separate our bodies from our spirit.

Further regarding the planets in the houses of endings: Be wary of Uranus, Pluto, or Saturn crossing the ascendant — representing the potential release of the body (or rather, spirit). Death can be seen through the water sign houses (4,8,12) — especially as they cross the 1st and 4th angles/angels. As well as when they return — they are conjuncting your natal Saturn, or Uranus. Moon conjunct Moon, in combination with other celestial events, can also indicate death. Being that the Moon (Cancer) is opposite Saturn (Capricorn) and so they are tied together. Maybe one day I’ll write a post about celestial events that indicate when the spirit might become released from matter. For example another indicator is transiting Pluto opposite the natal Sun.

There’s more, there’s always more…

I’m Capricorn rising (Saturn), and Saturn is my first rising planet, situated in the 4th and Opposing Neptune Scorpio (in the 10th).

Semi-related. I saw the Revealing The Early Renaissance, show at the AGO – and there was a lot of astrology and tarot in there!

Ten things you need to know about life

If These Trees Could Talk – Red Forest (Full Album Upload)

Life Skills (Words of Wisdom): The Life Cycle – Happiness and Accomplishments

January 27, 2013 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, Abella, Life Skills, Bright Ideas / Leave Comment

(originally published June 20, 2005)

The Life Cycle:

Introduction
Growth
Maturity
Decline

I love The Life Cycle — often used in business regarding products — because it is a universal principle that applies to so many life issues.

I’m going to illustrate how The Life Cycle affects our happiness and accomplishments in life:

Note: A “crisis” section underneath each phase is written to state the “challenging” aspects of the phase moving forward.

The INTRODUCTION phase is about the newness of the thing. In relationships, that can be first meetings and in work, the first weeks. It’s about discovery and possibilities.
Crisis If one is always looking for the new, then nothing can grow and that deep intimate knowledge can never happen. A lot of superficiality can occur.

The GROWTH phase is about making things “happen”. In relationships, this can mean moving towards getting a place together, vacationing, and blossoming the relationship with “truths” and healing each other’s “pasts”. In work, this can mean being in charge of a project that has a great effect on the work place.
Crisis If people get stuck in the growth stage it will be difficult to make something “worthwhile” happen!

The MATURITY phase is about standardizing and stabilizing. In relationships, this can mean getting married, having babies, getting a house, etc. etc… In work, this can mean setting standards, creating documentations, policies and procedures.
Crisis If you don’t allow innovation and the intro, growth cycle to re-occur — the road leads to decline and that means having to scramble to re-new the situation. Good planning allows for change.

The DECLINE phase is about staleness. The relationship might undergo a divorce, separation, or an affair. In work situations, a lay-off, wanting to quit, or huge dissatisfaction might occur.
Crisis If this stage comes to the surface, it’s hard to dig oneself out of the situation. A lot of people run and cut their losses but it doesn’t have to be that way.

We all have a “place” or two that we love to hover over. For me it’s the “Maturity and then back to Growth stage”. In my case, when it comes to work, this means that I love to put together plans, document processes and procedures, and help stabilize; however, I DO NOT want to be stuck in what I created or be forced by upper management or clients to succumb to my own designs. I want the option of re-visiting, updating, and innovating. Certifications, plans, processes, and programs are just “guides” or “tools” for a smoother ride but it doesn’t make or break anything.

But if I don’t have the option of growth, I usually quickly have a DECLINE crisis and might choose to terminate the relationship.

Some may enjoy the DECLINE stage. For example, people who buy foreclosed homes, or feel want to retire.

Why is any of this important?

Because once you understand which area of the cycle you like to be in, you can either a) advise the people you live and work with or b) do things that allow you to stay in the cycle that’s most comfortable and that can be done in a healthy way.

Finally Revolve the Cycle. This can be achieved by:

understanding which state you are likely to hover over;
communicating that to the people that need to know (including yourself);
doing something that allows you to stay in that state for as long as possible while cycling out to maintain balance.

Algol Conjunct SN, Full Moon in Cancer, Saturn Scorpio / NN: The Brutal Sexual Misconduct of Amanda Todd, the Indian Gang Rape Victim, and Others…

January 4, 2013 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Transits, World, Words of Wisdom, Fixed Stars, Interesting Bits, Karmic Nodes, Readings, Special Topics, In the news / Leave Comment

Algol Conjunct SN, Full Moon in Cancer, Saturn Scorpio / NN: Its Connection to Brutal Sexual Misconduct Regarding Amanda Todd, the Indian Gang Rape Victim, and Others…

Jean Paul Sartre said: Hell is other people.

The Indian gang rape lady died on December 28th at 4:45am in Singapore. This is the day when the full Moon was in Cancer, Algol had set in the morning and was conjunct the South Node. The Moon represents (among other things) women and Algol represents “misconduct” which includes sexual misconduct.

And at 8:59pm on December 16th (attack was around 9:30pm it is said) Capulus (male, sexual, and aggressive — Bernadette Brady) was set at Star Upper and parans to the Moon (woman). Capulus was also showing parans to Jupiter, rising at Star Lower at 11:09am. There was also a lot of Zeben Elgenubi action which BB considers “Positive social reform” parans to the MC and AC; however, at the time of the rape Capulus was Conjunct Zuben Elschmali (Negative social reform – Bernadette Brady).

Apparently the Indian rape victim fought her attackers, and that’s when they decided to kill her. This is very much a theme of Capulus/Algol. The Algol influenced male wants to subjugate a strong and independent woman. When she resists, he attacks to cut off her head — metaphorically or literally. And he believes that if he fails, he may have his own head cut off. It’s a myth of life and death.

“She thrashed them and kicked them too. They were boiling in anger by her defence so they decided to kill her. She told me that they were murmuring ‘maar do ise’ (kill her). They threw her considering she was dead.”

And just like I wrote about Amanda Todd (committed suicide caused from brutal bullying — Algolish), I’ve read for the Indian woman — “We hope her death is not in vain” and “Let her death not be in vain”. I think these prayers will be answered. And many are calling for the suspects to be hanged (Algol — losing their heads over a woman).

It seems to me that it’s no longer enough to provide Living Examples such as that of Oprah, Deepak Choprah, and Dr. Phil to make serious transformations (Saturn Scorpio). It seems that much of the world’s people need death (Scorpio Saturn, NN) to shock them into (Uranus Square Pluto) doing what’s right.

Rape sparks violent protests and demands for justice

Just like many believe Jesus died for our sins, it seems that these women sacrificed their lives and died for the brutal sins of others so that many could live purely, and in peace.

Dan Herman stated on my Astrology page: Correlating your astrology sense with world events is tremendous. This is necessary for us all to see. FYI: Sabian symbol for Scorpio 26 (27th degree of course): ‘A Military Band Marches Noisily Through The City Streets’

“I hope the exit is joyful, and I hope never to come back,” Frida Kahlo

It seems to me that Hell is earth. Our physical Saturnian matter dies the moment we are born crying. It seems we’re on this Earth to be punished, suffer, and be taught a lesson because we’re a bunch of bad kids. And Earth is just a holding cell, or jail. Saturn, the old Devil, keeps us here so that our sentence can be carried out. He does this by giving us some pleasures such as love, sex, food, drugs, endorphins through excercise and pain, and alcohol (for examples). Nothing is random, and we’re all supposed to meet each other to inflict and experience pain, and to teach and learn how to rise above it all.

My natal Neptune is in the 10th, and my Saturn is in the 4th. Neptune represents spirit, while Saturn represents matter. I have lived with this opposition, and believe I understand the world of matter and spirit, truth and fiction, good and evil.

I wrote in my Algol post the following:

“December 2012, Algol Conjunct SN. Algol may become a thing of the past. I think the Algol men, of women who have experienced their lowest selves, will have their Algol ‘put to rest’ and thrown into the “pile of corpses” they once created. Healing is coming. It’s no accident I’m talking about all this during Saturn Scorpio — which I see as liberating and related to maturity rather than restriction.” http://blog.virgovault.com/?p=1035

I do see Saturn in Scorpio now as restrictions due to mature ways of handling Scorpio themes. So restrictions but ones that are coming from being more ‘mature’ about Scorpio themes. I also still see the Saturn Scorpio transit as liberating.

On my Astrogasm Facebook Astrology page, I wrote about another high-profile death:

“Amanda Todd committed suicide after being bullied for years. She has fixed star Diadem Conjunct North Node. Her destiny was to sacrifice herself for the greater good. Don’t let her death be in vain.”

It’s possible that the fixed star Diadem is prominent in the rape victim’s chart but we don’t know her information other than she is 23 so born in 1989. That would likely give her Diadem Trine NN. Diadem is the fixed star that indicates a highly public destiny to be fulfilled.

Interpreting Astrology

December 2, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Words of Wisdom, Teaching, Special Topics / Leave Comment

When we interpret one language into another, like I do when I interpret astrology or tarot into a language my client or friend understands, we will be imperfect and probably come up with something slightly different than another interpreter. That’s because language is an art, a humanity. Each human being has a slightly different perception of their reality, so we will divine different insights from what we hear and see. Because of that, no interpretation is perfect; therefore, no astrologer will be perfect in their interpretation or express something in a way that the client will understand. Take the best, and leave the rest. If it sounds off, it is off.

Divine Language: Name & Word Divination Through Language

December 2, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, Favorite Things, Abella, Consultations & Readings, Teaching, Special Topics, Jaisla, Artwork, Spirituality, Occult, Divination / Leave Comment

Name or Word Divination

In and around 2007, I interviewed a wonderful pixie of a sweetheart. Unfortunately her skill couldn’t be used in my company; however, I will never forget what she taught me. She taught me to divine information about a person through their name. She learned this from someone else, and now I’m sharing this bit of wisdom with you…

Try this: Take your first and/or last name and try to find words in it, by sound or otherwise. For example, Arthur has the words art, and her as well as hidden or shadow words: rut, rat, and wrath. Glean meaning.

Again: Take your name, scramble it around like an anagram, and what do you get? What do you get without scrambling it around? What does it ‘sound’ like phonetically? What if you say it quickly? What does your name tell you about yourself? That’s what it will tell others subconsciously. Your name is a logo. Your name is logos.

My name is Abella Arthur.

I get:

Bell
Bella
Art
Be (meaning: just be yourself)
Abe (meaning: man, or American president — Abe Lincoln)
Phonetics: her (hur)
Phonetics: author (Arthur)
Phonetics: true (tru)

If I were to give myself a reading, I might say something like this:

Abella, You are a bell ringer. You are a bringer of truth about people being ‘real’, and just ‘being’ themselves. You have a spiritual and authoritative nature which is meant to free the people from thought slavery. Beauty is important to you, and art surrounds you. In your life, you will write about the art of being.

Each word or name holds meaning (beyond what can be found in a dictionary definition). Each word is sacred, and divine.

Personal Reflections on the Wisdom & Force of Pluto: The Sun (Leo) Meeting Pluto (Scorpio) in the Strength Tarot Card

June 14, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Tarot, Words of Wisdom / 2 Comments

The Strength tarot card is ruled by The Sun (Leo) but it also has a Plutonian (Scorpio) vibe to it as well. The two signs (Leo and Scorpio) square off and are fixed, and in this image we see the Lion being subdued.

Which reminds me that one must submit to a Scorpio or get out of its way — there’s not must choice in the matter. Scorpios are in it to win and Leos really don’t stand a chance, sad to say, without breaking their heart. So the Strength card can suggest bending to the will of another, subjugating and submitting to a pure substance or a force greater than oneself.

And while Scorpios get a bad rap (and for good reason!) they can be here to teach, transform, and purify the crazed soul within. If you bow down, they’ll show you their softer, transformational, and healing side. So you can either die or cry when the will of Scorpio (Pluto) is being exerted upon you.

Respect is something Leo’s are strong on but it’s important for all of us (our Suns, and especially Leo — being domicile with the Sun) to respect the will of others too.

Pluto forces us to get over our egos (the Sun). It always requires we acquiesce, and not fight.

With your transits, solar return, or natal chart, Pluto forces us to confront that which we do not want, is not comfortable, is against our every sense of what’s right and just.

You can manifest positive change or choose to be on cruise control or aut0-pilot (which I don’t suggest as that manifests as unconscious compulsions).

You can succeed (acquiesce) or fail (fight back). My suggestion is for you to introspect on what you’ve being given and then let go, give in, stop fighting. When you do that, you will see the light and become all shiny and new again – there are gifts in genuine strength — have the strength to fall-back.

Want to know more about the meaning of the Strength card? Check out my Tarot Card Meaning.

Word of the Day: Sketchy

June 9, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, Favorite Things, Abella / Leave Comment

I don’t have much more to say about the sketchy word of today. O-o

Commercial Manipulation: You Can’t Have It.

June 1, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom / Leave Comment

Just heard on a phone commercial:

Girl says about her phone “you can’t have it”… that’s a sneaky psychological assault.

We want what we can’t have.

Words of Wisdom: Oprah Winfrey – “God (the universe) has a bigger dream for you.” Oprah Winfrey

May 14, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, Life Skills / Leave Comment

Oprah Winfrey
Before her Book Club, before her talk show…

God can dream a bigger dream for you than you
can dream for yourself, and your role on Earth is
to attach yourself to that divine force and
let yourself be released to it. – Oprah Winfrey

Words of Wisdom: Ten Things You Need To Know About Your Life

May 10, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Words of Wisdom, Life Skills / Leave Comment

In my mind, the main purpose of all our human lives is the love of wisdom and the wisdom to love.

If you do that, you are probably leading a happier life.

1. Take care of your body. There are so many wonderful and different bodies out there but the only perfect body is yours. If you’ve made it imperfect by believing it was imperfect, it may be time to bring it back to it’s perfectly natural state as you possibly can and then honour it this time. Virgo, Vesta — the 6th house asks us to have daily practices that bring health and wellness into your life. Search these practices out, if you don’t already have them.

2. Everything that happens to and around you are lessons for you to learn from. In many ways we are all children, no matter our age.

3. Enjoy the happy accidents. Perfection is in imperfection. Failed plans are opportunities for something great to happen. Embrace what you didn’t expect. Expect the unexpected. Let Uranus guide you in discovering what life has to offer, in all its irregular shapes and sizes.

4. Patterns. If you find yourself making the same mistake over-and-over again, you likely have an aversion to learning or graduating from a course of learning. Life can be tough and maybe you want things easy so you figure it’s better to sit in a pile of mess you’re comfortable with then get out of it and start some other pile of mess. You’re wrong. After you pass that one lesson, it’ll make the next easier to handle and you’ll gain confidence and joy. If you have Saturn in your 3rd or 9th houses: Blocking the road to wellness, out of fear of having to take responsibility for the life you lead, may be one cause for repetition and failure to learn. But it’s not the only signature because I don’t have Saturn in those houses and I have failed to learn many things and have had to go through it all over again. What I’ve been learning to do, is to slow down. I think one personal signature that has casued me to repeat lessons not learned is Mars Square Saturn.

5. The work is never done so learn to enjoy whatever you are doing, in the moment. Flow. Flow from one lesson into another. A never ending sea of Neptunian delights. Let everything inspire you (The Sun) towards a magical life.

6. Wherever you are, is where you’re supposed to be. Be in the moment. Learn every lesson. Even if you don’t like where you are, it’s only temporary. It’s always only temporary. Remind yourself of that. You’re never where you want to or will be, so enjoy being where you are.

7. Projection. We all have a 7th house. We all project. If you have something nasty or nice to say about someone else, that’s because it’s within you or was within you. You can’t know what you don’t own (by the way, know contains the word own, k is silent). And what you love or hate about someone else is what you love or hate about yourself. So the next time you find yourself admiring someone else (like me, Oh so Leo. ;p) remember to admire that about yourself!! Yes, it might not be as ‘out there’ but you have it.

Update: The psychological term for #7 is called, projection or displacement — I really wish a lot more people would get this… then again, it’s kind of cool to learn about how people view themselves (through others). Listen to what people have to say, good or bad about others and they are telling you about themselves. If they’re quiet or don’t ever say anything about other people, be afraid — be very afraid. And even though I know of this phenomena, I STILL will make note of the good and bad that I see, myself. Having said that, if you’ve been taught to recognize something in others (say you’re law enforcement, psychologist, or you’ve read some articles about something you knew nothing before about etc…), then it may not be a projection.

The important thing is not to stop noticing good and bad in others, but to notice that that good and bad exists within you too. That’s when the magic of compassion, understanding, and self-development ignites.

8. As an adult, you have everything you need — all the resources you could ever want is currently at your feet, a phone call, chat, or walk away. You’ve been provided with everything you need, in this moment — remember it. It may not be in the package you readily seek but you have it. It’s there to be taken and if you don’t know how to take it, wellness providers (like myself) can help you tap into these resources.

9. As a psychic I can’t remember how many times I’ve said this. And this is another reason why I created TarotSeek. The best answers lie within. You know everything. Yup, there’s nothing you don’t know. You may not be able to always put words to it and it might be buried deep, but you know everything. As a tarot reader, I connect with you to access the answers you and others hold. I’m not godly, I’m just connected and present.

So I ultimately don’t believe in regular tarot readings. I believe in my style of tarot reading (when you don’t read the cards all by yourself) which is about accessing YOUR wisdom and that’s why I’m YOUR Wisdom Guide!

10. When I teach people tarot, I always tell them that no matter what they say — they’ll always be right. Tarot is story telling, telling true stories. But if they think they are not allowed to read, they won’t succeed. However, one of the things I do give freely to others is confidence (Sun in the 7th) so when you work with me. you’ll very likely achieve things you never thought you could. Just try to remember that I helped you along your way and let other people know too so they can benefit from my gifts as well.

“THINK ABOUT IT”

Quotes: Bill Clinton on Problem Solving, Nature vs. Nurture, Crossword Puzzles, Intelligence, Positivity

May 1, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom / Leave Comment

Sometimes you have to go at a problem the way I’d go at a complicated crossword puzzle. Sometimes I’d pick up the Saturday Times crossword puzzle and I’d go over way over half the clues before I’d know the answer to one and then you start with what you know the answer to and you just build on it and eventually you can unravel the whole puzzle. And so I rarely work a puzzle with of any diffculty from one across and one down and all the way to the end, in a totally logical fashion. And I think a lot of difficult, complex problems are like that. You have to find something aspect of it you understand and build on it until you can unravel the mystery that you’re trying to understand.

Nearly anybody can learn nearly anything they need to know. Nature has something to do with it but I think nurture has something to do with it. I think, nature made Einstein’s massive brain and made him what he was but nurture can make nearly everyone seem to be above average intelligence if they have the right sort of nurturing early as well as the right kind of formal schooling and academic challenges and adults who believe in them when they’re children. I really believe it’s a little bit of both but most of us are all capable of doing more than we think! – Bill Clinton in WordPlay

Quotes: Why Earthly Humans Can’t Do Without Venus & Mars

March 19, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Astrology, Planets, Words of Wisdom, Philosophy / Leave Comment

Earth is sandwiched between Venus and Mars.

Love, Art, Money, Beauty, Ambition, Sex, Identity, Activity, Women, Men, Femininity, and Masculinity make the world go around.

Earthlings get caught in the middle of Libra (partnerships) and Aries (self-hood). Human beings feel the push and pull, yin and yang of peace and war, love and hate.

As a whole, we try to express the interdependent space between co-dependence and independence — an ‘at-one’ with others and ourselves.

On the surface, Venus spews her “love, not war”, “we’re in it together” campaign, while Mars suggestively asserts “all for one, and one for all (get it?!)”, “fight, instead of flight”, behind closed doors. We often end up feeling a tug-o-war — an us vs. them. An I, vs. we. And yet, it’s neither for Earth.

We ask ourselves: What is real? Am I crazy? Is it me or other?

As we are showered with Venus (Air, Earth) and Mars (Fire) themes in our everyday lives, we can benefit from remembering that we’re from EARTH (full of water).

I’m “Sharing Awesome”!

March 1, 2012 / By Abella Arthur / In Words of Wisdom, Favorite Things / Leave Comment

I’m “Sharing Awesome”!