Online dating can be a killer — literally, and figuratively.
These days, online dating attracts a lot of men and women with difficult love, and sex natures. Liars and cheaters, are a plenty. And there’s quite a few emotionally, physically, and mentally dis-eased that will really put you through the ringer, if you don’t take care.
Of course, none of us have perfect personalities; however, a dangerous individual is not the same as a moderately flawed one.
Even if your synastry is fabulous, and cancels out strenuous natal behaviors — the moment you stop dating (if that were to happen), watch out. Your loved one may very well revert right back to their OWN chart and the behaviors that come with it.
Draw up a chart on any prospect, and believe what you see — unless you want to test it out.
The squares are frustrated, and block. The opposites vacillate from one end to the other, in a flash — depending on what provoked. Conjunctions can be good or bad, but either way — they’re powerful. The trines are easy, peasy, lazy, and introverted. The sextiles are active, energetic, and extroverted. Read semi’s too. Semi just means half the time, when activated, or less of an effect. Quintiles are a little quirky, a little freaky — maybe even kinky. Sesquares illustrates a lack of maturity, or a disability — physical or emotional therapy may help a lot. Inconjuncts or Quincunxes are a little off-balance, and need to adjust a bit — kind of harmless, in the grande scheme. They also cause aversion.
Every celestial object can become a romance planet or object; however, I find these are the ones that can make the most impact at the get-go:
Moon, Venus, and Mars in aspect to Jupiter, Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, and Chiron.
Here are some example Deal breakers, in my book. And I’ll add my little quips, as time goes on.
- Venus square Pluto Jealous, manipulative, subversive, under cover obsession, insecure. Giving you the love drug, that can only be got from them. Be aware, from the get-go. They’ll make their problems, yours. Giving you everything you ever wanted, at a price. You’ll be intoxicated by them, and don’t ever leave them or revenge (often silent, and can be deadly) is on its way.
- Venus opposite Pluto Love, hate. War of the roses. When you’re together, it’s all good but if you ever break up, you’ll experience the hate. A hate you never fathomed they could feel for you. And it will feel extreme, because it’s so out of character. Even if your synastry dissolves or balances out their Venus opp Pluto, once you’ve broken up — they go right back to THEIR chart alone. And now they’re in survival, and self-protection mode. Beware.
- Venus square Saturn This can go either way. On the more positive side, it can mean that the person likes a 7+ year age difference, and that might be okay for them, but somehow still cause some friction or overcoming of obstacles to get there. On the warning side — this person can not love. So be sure to invest as little emotionally, as you will, at the get-go or not at all. It will take them a long time, if ever to warm up to you and share their love. There will be crises around an old appearance,etc. and the relationship may never get off the ground.
- Venus opposition Saturn You’ve got a great partner, if Venus and Saturn are aspected. But with the opposition, you get a: Now I’m with you, and now I won’t. This native promises to love you, shows you affection, and then takes it away. What you can be left with is cold confusion. And to be fair, the native is just as confused, and also afraid of commitment. They pull back, when things get hard. And they pull back when things are sweet. You will have to have much patience with this person, and bank on it never working out, in the end unless they’re going to do something about their vacillation. Sometimes they want commitment, and sometimes they don’t. The best find is Venus trine, sextile, or even a conjunction to Saturn. These natives accept, and often expect love and relationships to be work, and will work at it for years to come. In some cases, the opposition might reflect a desire for a much younger, or much older partner. Again, one can have their cake and eat it too. Either find a partner who is old, but young at heart. Or young, but old at heart. The oppositions are about integration. I have been doing a little research on this aspect, and I have found it Doing research on love / attachment styles. Watch for Venus opposition Saturn, and Uranus. Need for closeness vs freedom. DISMISSIVE style. Ask them take the quiz to find out if they’re a Dismissive type partner. Learn more about attachment styles.
- Mars square Pluto Are you in for a beating? Verbal, physical, spiritual, emotional or otherwise? These guys and gals can be mean and cold, and make you “pay for it”. It is whatever transgression they think you did, not what you actually did, that will get you into hot water. And are you prepared to submit to an insatiable, and possibly out of norm sexual romp on rough and tumble rocks? This native is going to want to dominate you, to be sure. And not in a nice way.
- Mars opposite Pluto No, you can not win with this one. Be prepared to do their bidding. They don’t respect what you want. Only what THEY want. Are you prepared for psychological warfare, that you didn’t see coming? Figuratively, you’ll feel like you were given the date rape drug.
- Mars square Neptune They may have an STD, or other partner, major prospect, or love interest they’re not telling you about. They may even cheat on you sexually. But you sure will be in sexual ecstasy — the kind that goes bad, really bad after the dirty deed is done. The kind that makes you want to shower on end. They could be addicted to something that will bring you down in the end. Everything in excess: Drugs, sex, alcohol, and rock and roll. These are your wannabe rock-stars. Want to be a wannabe groupie? And at the end of the day, you might not even get into the promised land hotel room anyway.
- Mars opposite Neptune They could fake an orgasm, or lie to you about who else they’re dating.
Pay attention to what houses the planets are in. Is their Mars in the 5th or 7th house or the 3rd or 12th? It will tell you a lot about where and how they manifest these energies.
These are things to watch out for, but may not be deal breakers.
- Moon square Pluto Their emotions are damaging. If it’s a guy, they have mommy / woman issues. They’re unlikely to be a feminist or pro women. They can cut you up, and toy with your emotions — making you feel unworthy, and dirty.
- Moon opposite Pluto This one will attempt to manipulate your emotions. At first they’ll collect your feelings, and experiences and coddle you out of the wazzoo. But if you ever do anything to “hurt them”, they’ll use what they learned against you.
- Venus square Jupiter They skimp out on love, and cuddles. Don’t expect a lot of, “I love you’s”. These guys and gals are single for a long time, and it’s because they block love. They detract. They’re not sweet. They have an aversion to being lovey dovey. And they can cheat on you romantically.
- Venus opposite Jupiter When they love you, it’s over the top. But when they’re not in love with you, but everyone else in the world — yuck, that’s hard to swallow! So keep pulling him back to his or her home turf.
- Venus trine Jupiter You can bet this one has a lot of admirers, with no work at all. Unless they have other good aspects, like Venus trine Saturn, watch out. You may have a cheater on your hands. Or you’ll worry too much that they will. These folks can be the Ludus type, playful lovers.
- Venus sextile Jupiter If the opportunity presents themselves to shower you with love, like your birthday, they will. They can also attract admirers, but they have to work at it. Keep them happy, and they’ll be loyal to you. These folks can be the Ludus type, playful lovers.
- Venus square Neptune They never pick the “right ones,” for them. And you’re not it either. Sorry. So you’ll have to work on making yourself VERY real from the get-go, and not letting them fall into fantasy land. You may not know if what you’re experiencing is real love. And when you feel real love, you may hide it. Or you may pretend that you don’t love them. Or the opposite. This is a tough one to have. Causes much confusion, and uncertainty.
- Venus opposite Neptune They thought you were “the one”, but then you do something that turns them off to the reality of imperfection. It’s not you; it’s them. Remind them about how truly “magical” you are, together.
- Mars square Uranus These guys and gals get shockingly mad, in a flash. It’s startling. If you’re not the type to agitate, you may be okay. The flame will likely die down, as quickly as it rose. But if you’re a trouble maker yourself, avoid this one.
- Mars opposite Uranus
- Venus square Uranus They have no problems breaking up with you, in a flash. Don’t give your heart out to this one. Anyway, they usually do you a favor in that they’re not the type you can get close to very easily anyway. But you’re at your own peril, if you push it. Watch out for long distance relationships. These types look for that sort of thing, and it won’t be good for you. An LDR that happens out of the blue, may be okay, but not when they have this aspect. In synastry it can be fine such as one of you being traveling in your work, but it’s also something to pay attention to.
- Venus opposite Uranus The on and off again romance. Now you see me, now you don’t. Love at a distance. Love close, at hand. These natives, are unsure of what they want. Do they want love (Leo), or freedom (Aquarius)? Sometimes they’re like a Venus Aquarius, and other times a Venus in Leo. You don’t know whether to be warm and fuzzy with them, proclaiming your love or cool and distant, having some cool and analytical friendly conversations. The oppositions need to learn that they can have BOTH, but they need to harmonize, and sympathize with their partner. Your prospective date might be the DISMISSIVE style. Ask them take the quiz to find out if they’re a Dismissive type partner. Learn more about attachment styles.
Something to think about
- Venus square or opposite Chiron Love does not heal them. Love hurts them, and you’re the lover that’s going to or is hurting them.
- Mercury square Mars They’re ornery. Not very kindly. You’re going to get a lot of negative chatter out of this one. They especially don’t get along well with men, in conversation.
- Mercury square Venus They especially don’t know how to get along with women, in conversation. They’re communication style is irritating, and not smooth.
- Moon square Venus They don’t know how to comfort you.
- Venus square Mars They can easily fight or cause friction with their partner. They don’t have a good handle on their yin and yang.
- Venus opposition Mars They don’t have a good handle on what they want, out of relating.
With Saturn it either means the thing will get off the ground, or it won’t. Not much to worry about there, at the start. But down the road, Saturn is the “glue” as they say. So if that isn’t doing well, your relationship may not last. As can be seen, finding “the one” is tricky business. Good luck, and God speed.
I’m sorry dear reader if you have any of these aspects, and I’ve painted your dating and romance life, poorly. I’ve noted the “dark” side of challenging aspects, and not how they can be overcome or be positive. It takes a very well-adjusted, self-improvement oriented person, to get beyond these aspects. And for those that don’t have these aspects, but see them in your prospect — they may have overcome the challenges, but what if they haven’t? Do you want to spend time fiddling with their issues? You know astrology, or can get an astrology reading — use it to your dating advantage. While I’m willing to work with a little spice, my Venus Virgo wants a break from these fixer uppers. I can take maybe one or two of them IF they have some good aspects like Moon-Venus-Mercury and Venus-Saturn in good aspect. Otherwise, I’m not interested as I’ve tested these aspects out enough to know their chart is right. And if you’re a native, with a difficult aspect, maybe fess up at the start of dating someone you like. Let them know what love / romance / dating challenges you face, and you might find it helps you out a lot. Let them know your love attachment, and style!
If I have the time or inclination, I can tell you how to find someone compatible to you online. A little tip, for now: Sun, Venus, in good aspect, and in synastry are good ideas. So if your Sun is a Taurus, search for a Venus Virgo, Taurus, Capricorn, Scorpio, Pisces, or Cancer. How do you do that, since Sun signs are all that are shown? Each planet takes awhile to get into gear, and you take into account the preferred Sun sign of your partner too. So there are only so many Virgo Suns with Scorpio Venus in the age range you desire to date. So you check the ephemeris for the years you want to check, and find that combination or Venus. An easier way may be looking at a past loves good Venus, and using their year of birth to find the one for you online. You can change up the Sun sign with that too.
And if you can find out their Moon, that is helpful too. So if your Venus is in Aries, search for a partner with a Moon in Sag, Leo, or Aries — which can be just as good as a Sun connection, though not as powerful. Moons in the same element, or exact same sign are amazing for feeling secure. A Moon synastry conjunction is quite powerful. As powerful as the Sun!