Opposites. Men (Aries/Mars/Sex) opposite Women (Libra/Venus/Love) My thought about men and women, in romantic relationships… men don’t stay with or love a woman, for the sex. Yes, they tend to want, or have sex on the mind more than women (in general, no absolutes here) but here’s the kicker – you’ll get a woman to stay with you / love you for the sex — GREAT sex. A man’s Mars! Saturn (Capricorn/Libra), Pluto (Scorpio). What keeps a man, to a woman? Your love. Your acceptance, compassion, understanding, joy, positivity, optimism – your Venus (Libra/Taurus), Jupiter (Sag / Pisces), and Neptune (Pisces). In an ideal relationship, for many, sex AND support are crucial to happiness. But men and women are different in that what holds them to you, what makes them truly fall in love with you — it is counter-intuitive to what you think does. Through many studies, it’s been stated that biologically women seek support (emotional, financial, and whatever) and I have found that to be true (even with the feminists). But again, that is not what makes her fall in love with you or stay with you. That, my friend is Oxytocin – the bonding hormone, and that my friend gets released in spades when we get the big O and lots of super duper cuddles. So don’t skimp out my het male friends – give your girl the squeeze. And the women, go easy on your man’s ego. In fact, shower him with praise and joy!! Happy Venus day / weekend. Get your love on. <3
Online dating can be a killer — literally, and figuratively.
These days, online dating attracts a lot of men and women with difficult love, and sex natures. Liars and cheaters, are a plenty. And there’s quite a few emotionally, physically, and mentally dis-eased that will really put you through the ringer, if you don’t take care.
Of course, none of us have perfect personalities; however, a dangerous individual is not the same as a moderately flawed one.
Even if your synastry is fabulous, and cancels out strenuous natal behaviors — the moment you stop dating (if that were to happen), watch out. Your loved one may very well revert right back to their OWN chart and the behaviors that come with it.
Draw up a chart on any prospect, and believe what you see — unless you want to test it out.
The squares are frustrated, and block. The opposites vacillate from one end to the other, in a flash — depending on what provoked. Conjunctions can be good or bad, but either way — they’re powerful. The trines are easy, peasy, lazy, and introverted. The sextiles are active, energetic, and extroverted. Read semi’s too. Semi just means half the time, when activated, or less of an effect. Quintiles are a little quirky, a little freaky — maybe even kinky. Sesquares illustrates a lack of maturity, or a disability — physical or emotional therapy may help a lot. Inconjuncts or Quincunxes are a little off-balance, and need to adjust a bit — kind of harmless, in the grande scheme. They also cause aversion.
Every celestial object can become a romance planet or object; however, I find these are the ones that can make the most impact at the get-go:
Moon, Venus, and Mars in aspect to Jupiter, Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, and Chiron.
Here are some example Deal breakers, in my book. And I’ll add my little quips, as time goes on.
- Venus square Pluto Jealous, manipulative, subversive, under cover obsession, insecure. Giving you the love drug, that can only be got from them. Be aware, from the get-go. They’ll make their problems, yours. Giving you everything you ever wanted, at a price. You’ll be intoxicated by them, and don’t ever leave them or revenge (often silent, and can be deadly) is on its way.
- Venus opposite Pluto Love, hate. War of the roses. When you’re together, it’s all good but if you ever break up, you’ll experience the hate. A hate you never fathomed they could feel for you. And it will feel extreme, because it’s so out of character. Even if your synastry dissolves or balances out their Venus opp Pluto, once you’ve broken up — they go right back to THEIR chart alone. And now they’re in survival, and self-protection mode. Beware.
- Venus square Saturn This can go either way. On the more positive side, it can mean that the person likes a 7+ year age difference, and that might be okay for them, but somehow still cause some friction or overcoming of obstacles to get there. On the warning side — this person can not love. So be sure to invest as little emotionally, as you will, at the get-go or not at all. It will take them a long time, if ever to warm up to you and share their love. There will be crises around an old appearance,etc. and the relationship may never get off the ground.
- Venus opposition Saturn You’ve got a great partner, if Venus and Saturn are aspected. But with the opposition, you get a: Now I’m with you, and now I won’t. This native promises to love you, shows you affection, and then takes it away. What you can be left with is cold confusion. And to be fair, the native is just as confused, and also afraid of commitment. They pull back, when things get hard. And they pull back when things are sweet. You will have to have much patience with this person, and bank on it never working out, in the end unless they’re going to do something about their vacillation. Sometimes they want commitment, and sometimes they don’t. The best find is Venus trine, sextile, or even a conjunction to Saturn. These natives accept, and often expect love and relationships to be work, and will work at it for years to come. In some cases, the opposition might reflect a desire for a much younger, or much older partner. Again, one can have their cake and eat it too. Either find a partner who is old, but young at heart. Or young, but old at heart. The oppositions are about integration. I have been doing a little research on this aspect, and I have found it Doing research on love / attachment styles. Watch for Venus opposition Saturn, and Uranus. Need for closeness vs freedom. DISMISSIVE style. Ask them take the quiz to find out if they’re a Dismissive type partner. Learn more about attachment styles.
- Mars square Pluto Are you in for a beating? Verbal, physical, spiritual, emotional or otherwise? These guys and gals can be mean and cold, and make you “pay for it”. It is whatever transgression they think you did, not what you actually did, that will get you into hot water. And are you prepared to submit to an insatiable, and possibly out of norm sexual romp on rough and tumble rocks? This native is going to want to dominate you, to be sure. And not in a nice way.
- Mars opposite Pluto No, you can not win with this one. Be prepared to do their bidding. They don’t respect what you want. Only what THEY want. Are you prepared for psychological warfare, that you didn’t see coming? Figuratively, you’ll feel like you were given the date rape drug.
- Mars square Neptune They may have an STD, or other partner, major prospect, or love interest they’re not telling you about. They may even cheat on you sexually. But you sure will be in sexual ecstasy — the kind that goes bad, really bad after the dirty deed is done. The kind that makes you want to shower on end. They could be addicted to something that will bring you down in the end. Everything in excess: Drugs, sex, alcohol, and rock and roll. These are your wannabe rock-stars. Want to be a wannabe groupie? And at the end of the day, you might not even get into the promised land hotel room anyway.
- Mars opposite Neptune They could fake an orgasm, or lie to you about who else they’re dating.
Pay attention to what houses the planets are in. Is their Mars in the 5th or 7th house or the 3rd or 12th? It will tell you a lot about where and how they manifest these energies.
These are things to watch out for, but may not be deal breakers.
- Moon square Pluto Their emotions are damaging. If it’s a guy, they have mommy / woman issues. They’re unlikely to be a feminist or pro women. They can cut you up, and toy with your emotions — making you feel unworthy, and dirty.
- Moon opposite Pluto This one will attempt to manipulate your emotions. At first they’ll collect your feelings, and experiences and coddle you out of the wazzoo. But if you ever do anything to “hurt them”, they’ll use what they learned against you.
- Venus square Jupiter They skimp out on love, and cuddles. Don’t expect a lot of, “I love you’s”. These guys and gals are single for a long time, and it’s because they block love. They detract. They’re not sweet. They have an aversion to being lovey dovey. And they can cheat on you romantically.
- Venus opposite Jupiter When they love you, it’s over the top. But when they’re not in love with you, but everyone else in the world — yuck, that’s hard to swallow! So keep pulling him back to his or her home turf.
- Venus trine Jupiter You can bet this one has a lot of admirers, with no work at all. Unless they have other good aspects, like Venus trine Saturn, watch out. You may have a cheater on your hands. Or you’ll worry too much that they will. These folks can be the Ludus type, playful lovers.
- Venus sextile Jupiter If the opportunity presents themselves to shower you with love, like your birthday, they will. They can also attract admirers, but they have to work at it. Keep them happy, and they’ll be loyal to you. These folks can be the Ludus type, playful lovers.
- Venus square Neptune They never pick the “right ones,” for them. And you’re not it either. Sorry. So you’ll have to work on making yourself VERY real from the get-go, and not letting them fall into fantasy land. You may not know if what you’re experiencing is real love. And when you feel real love, you may hide it. Or you may pretend that you don’t love them. Or the opposite. This is a tough one to have. Causes much confusion, and uncertainty.
- Venus opposite Neptune They thought you were “the one”, but then you do something that turns them off to the reality of imperfection. It’s not you; it’s them. Remind them about how truly “magical” you are, together.
- Mars square Uranus These guys and gals get shockingly mad, in a flash. It’s startling. If you’re not the type to agitate, you may be okay. The flame will likely die down, as quickly as it rose. But if you’re a trouble maker yourself, avoid this one.
- Mars opposite Uranus
- Venus square Uranus They have no problems breaking up with you, in a flash. Don’t give your heart out to this one. Anyway, they usually do you a favor in that they’re not the type you can get close to very easily anyway. But you’re at your own peril, if you push it. Watch out for long distance relationships. These types look for that sort of thing, and it won’t be good for you. An LDR that happens out of the blue, may be okay, but not when they have this aspect. In synastry it can be fine such as one of you being traveling in your work, but it’s also something to pay attention to.
- Venus opposite Uranus The on and off again romance. Now you see me, now you don’t. Love at a distance. Love close, at hand. These natives, are unsure of what they want. Do they want love (Leo), or freedom (Aquarius)? Sometimes they’re like a Venus Aquarius, and other times a Venus in Leo. You don’t know whether to be warm and fuzzy with them, proclaiming your love or cool and distant, having some cool and analytical friendly conversations. The oppositions need to learn that they can have BOTH, but they need to harmonize, and sympathize with their partner. Your prospective date might be the DISMISSIVE style. Ask them take the quiz to find out if they’re a Dismissive type partner. Learn more about attachment styles.
Something to think about
- Venus square or opposite Chiron Love does not heal them. Love hurts them, and you’re the lover that’s going to or is hurting them.
- Mercury square Mars They’re ornery. Not very kindly. You’re going to get a lot of negative chatter out of this one. They especially don’t get along well with men, in conversation.
- Mercury square Saturn They are not good at keeping secrets or serious conversation. Bad combo.
- Mercury square Venus They especially don’t know how to get along with women, in conversation. They’re communication style is irritating, and not smooth.
- Moon square Venus They don’t know how to comfort you.
- Venus square Mars They can easily fight or cause friction with their partner. They don’t have a good handle on their yin and yang.
- Venus opposition Mars They don’t have a good handle on what they want, out of relating.
With Saturn it either means the thing will get off the ground, or it won’t. Not much to worry about there, at the start. But down the road, Saturn is the “glue” as they say. So if that isn’t doing well, your relationship may not last. As can be seen, finding “the one” is tricky business. Good luck, and God speed.
I’m sorry dear reader if you have any of these aspects, and I’ve painted your dating and romance life, poorly. I’ve noted the “dark” side of challenging aspects, and not how they can be overcome or be positive. It takes a very well-adjusted, self-improvement oriented person, to get beyond these aspects. And for those that don’t have these aspects, but see them in your prospect — they may have overcome the challenges, but what if they haven’t? Do you want to spend time fiddling with their issues? You know astrology, or can get an astrology reading — use it to your dating advantage. While I’m willing to work with a little spice, my Venus Virgo wants a break from these fixer uppers. I can take maybe one or two of them IF they have some good aspects like Moon-Venus-Mercury and Venus-Saturn in good aspect. Otherwise, I’m not interested as I’ve tested these aspects out enough to know their chart is right. And if you’re a native, with a difficult aspect, maybe fess up at the start of dating someone you like. Let them know what love / romance / dating challenges you face, and you might find it helps you out a lot. Let them know your love attachment, and style!
If I have the time or inclination, I can tell you how to find someone compatible to you online. A little tip, for now: Sun, Venus, in good aspect, and in synastry are good ideas. So if your Sun is a Taurus, search for a Venus Virgo, Taurus, Capricorn, Scorpio, Pisces, or Cancer. How do you do that, since Sun signs are all that are shown? Each planet takes awhile to get into gear, and you take into account the preferred Sun sign of your partner too. So there are only so many Virgo Suns with Scorpio Venus in the age range you desire to date. So you check the ephemeris for the years you want to check, and find that combination or Venus. An easier way may be looking at a past loves good Venus, and using their year of birth to find the one for you online. You can change up the Sun sign with that too.
And if you can find out their Moon, that is helpful too. So if your Venus is in Aries, search for a partner with a Moon in Sag, Leo, or Aries — which can be just as good as a Sun connection, though not as powerful. Moons in the same element, or exact same sign are amazing for feeling secure. A Moon synastry conjunction is quite powerful. As powerful as the Sun!
Note: I’m heterosexual, and this article is written with a personal blog perspective. While my writing could be applied to all forms of relating, this is what I know best and I tend to enjoy writing from experience.
Ask yourself these two questions:
- Do you want the relationship you’re currently in, or to be in one?
- Do you want to love the person you’re with, or be in love?
What are you (Aries) doing about it, to create and loving and vibrant relationship (Libra) for you and your person of interest?
The first question I’ve asked — asks for a commitment (Libra), and dedication (Taurus). The second question asks for vulnerability (Aries), and passion (Scorpio). Yes, a healthy Aries is vulnerable because they’re strong.
If you’ve noticed, I haven’t asked about having sex (Mars).
Frankly, I strongly believe (and astrology indicates this) if you don’t have #1 and #2 (Venus) first, then having #3 (Mars) is often a sure disaster. And while some people believe it takes a long time to love someone, I don’t agree. But I do think it can take a long time to see if someone is compatible, but that’s the logic side of Libra — not love (Taurus).
To be personal, I had sex fairly quickly (within two weeks) with my ex husband but we then became joined at the hip and we were together for 10 years. But the most important thing I discovered was that #1 — he wanted to be in a relationship AND #2 — he loved me rather quickly (love at first sight), so it made sense to have #3.
These days it seems like a lot of guys want to skip #1 and #2 for themselves, and go straight to #3 (Mars) BUT expect YOU to do #1 and #2 (Venus) all on your own. Waaaaa?? LOL Yeah buddy, it doesn’t work that way. Good try though. LOL
They don’t want to commit because it’s like a dating buffet out here on the internet and they’re abusing the nonsensical friends with benefits (fwb) arrangement aka FREE SEX. And they don’t want to be vulnerable, unless or in place of you being vulnerable because… eh, I haven’t figured that one out yet. Anyone know??
But the full package is Venus and Mars. That’s Venus combined with Mars. Venus without Mars, and Mars without Venus is not a full romantic relationship — it’s sex or it’s friendship but it’s not both.
“Careful consideration of your options and goals will lead to wiser choices at the times of activity, and a gradual transformation from self-preoccupation to becoming more aware of the rights and feelings of others will be a great step for you to make.” Source: Astromatrix
Not even the proverbial fwb person is really a friend. Why? Because at it’s core, this arrangement lacks respect. And your true friend will respect you, and vice versa. So if you’re respecting (2nd house – Taurus) yourself, your friend, and vice versa — you’re not having an fwb situation. Fwb is a misnomer. Yes, Venus is related to friendship and Mars is related to sex BUT if the man REALLY likes you (the logic part of Libra) — he’ll want more than just sex with you. He’ll want you all to himself (Aries). And he’ll focus on Love (Taurus), and commitment(Libra). Fwb lacks love. Fwb is missing something. Fwb is seriously flawed, and like an aberration. Fwb is more of an Aquarius, 11th house, Uranian thing. An acquaintance. Fwb is a Mars-Uranus arrangement, that leaves the female (Venus) out of the picture. Her Venusian wants, and desires are left out of the equation. Uranian energy is discordant, and the fwb arrangement is inconjunct to Venus (Taurus) even though it appeals to a side of Venus (Libra trines Aquarius).
Anyway, fwb is like a whole other article or BOOK. Is there a book out there yet on this subject? Could be… lol
(Covers Friday May 24th to June 6th)
by Abella Arthur
“Abella Arthur has practiced astrology for over 20 years. She is available for private consultations and parties — putting the cosmos into a personal perspective for you and your loved ones.”
On the 21st, the Sun (self, ego, personality, and the center) entered the sign of Gemini (thought, duality, communication, factoids, variety, brilliance, and interests). Happy Birthday Gemini!
While the next door neighbor of Gemini — Taurus (the sign of security, stability, tenacity, sensuality, artistry, and nature), ruled by Venus (the planet of love, money, beauty, etc.) — is no longer basking in the Sun’s rays, it’s not quite ready to move on yet.
Mars is in the sign of Taurus (April 21 to May 31), and the fixed star Algol, is still in Taurus (currently at 26 degrees) for hundreds of years to come.
(To learn more about Algol, visit: http://blog.virgovault.com/2012/10/02/fixed-star-algol-25-taurus-sexual-emotional-psychological-drives-heterosexual-men-algol)
On the 24th, the planet of war, sex, sports, masculinity, assertiveness, and action — Mars, begins to socialize with, and explore what is known as the most evil star in the cosmos, Algol, for the next couple of weeks.
Algol connects to the myth of Perseus and the gorgon, Medusa, wherein it becomes Perseus’ task to slay the monster’s head. After accomplishing this task, he uses it to fight evil, and wrong-doing. Algol resides in the third eye (collective conscious) of Medusa’s head.
This period of cosmic weather may suggest an aggressive stance against things such as alcohol, brutality, sexual force, fighting, and competition. It may also be a time where the people will feel the desire to unusually assert their collective voice against any destructive and damaging actions taken; however, be sure you’re not the one attempting to do destroy or damage — to win at all costs. In fact, there may be an element of “damage control” that a large organization will play out.
Alongside Mars tied to Algol, the 24/25th of May has us experiencing the emotional and just impact of a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius (the higher mind, long distance travel, law, and religion).
As a society, we are on the road to no longer being able to bear witness to the atrocities of helpless victims, and choose to put an end to abuse of all kinds — with aggressive completion of new educational programs, laws, wide-spread philosophies, and traveling ministry.
This upcoming period of time is one of activism, and sharing the truth of damaged goods.
Your Bi-Weekly Horoscope:
Aries: Sudden breakthroughs. You’re considering your options and choices. You’ll hold on to what you have, for sure. But you’re also making a decision on whether to grab on to something new. It’s completely up to you.
Taurus: You’ve worked really hard to achieve a state of self-sufficiency, but now it’s hard to let anyone in for fear of being beaten up, and badgered. Be good to yourself, and be good to others. Open up with caution.
Gemini: In your world, there are three sides to every story: Yours, theirs, and the “watcher”. The watcher is your mental subconscious, making judgment. Let it poke around and listen well to what it says.
Cancer: A new idea comes to mind regarding moving forward on a long held dream. You know it’s going to take some tough and serious work, and you are likely to be met with objection. Forge ahead anyway.
Leo: It’s time to get out, socialize, and celebrate all that life has to offer. Dust off some of your hobbies, and take them for a spin. An interesting Gemini may grab your attention. Re-ignite your engine. Do a happy dance.
Virgo: Balance your mind by emptying those excessive details swimming around your head. Water will soothe and refresh your mind. Go for a swim, take a nice bath, or a trip to the spa. Dirty thoughts will wash away.
Libra: Your support is being tapped by more people than usual. It’s hard to say no, but if you plan on getting everything done – you’ll want to. If you keep saying yes, don’t look up or ahead — it will likely depress.
Scorpio: Your past is catching up to you. Things you didn’t let go of, are coming back to haunt. Try to let go this time around – your karmic debt will receive a cleansing, and you’ll be freer to regenerate and renew.
Sagittarius: You may sense a tug of war, and that the world isn’t quite right. But you know how to look at the bright side. Remember to remove yourself from the nattering of lower minds, and seek higher ground.
Capricorn: A reunion of sorts is coming up, and you’re thinking about sweet old memories. Family — whether biological, business, or extended — is very important to you at this time. Let them all know how much!
Aquarius: The universe wants you to experience another side of yourself. Take a cue from your astrological opposite, Leo. Smile, enjoy the warm weather, and get personal with your peers at every opportunity.
Pisces: Big hug to you! You’re going through some stressful times right now, your mother is on your mind, and it’s hard to sleep. It’s no wonder it’s difficult to make sense of what’s happening. Stop the thought, not the spot.
“Abella Arthur has practiced astrology for over 20 years. She is available for private consultations and parties — putting the cosmos into a personal perspective for you and your loved ones.”
After completing my horoscope column, I did a little search, and found a sports figure (Mars) is going on an emotional walk (Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Sag) called The Orange Movement to fight sexual child abuse in the law (Moon Sag, Algol). Former NHL star Theo Fleury was sexually abused (Mars-Algol) by a hockey coach. He will finish the walk on May 23rd, one day before Mars Conjuncts Algol and the Full Moon in Sag eclipses — making a major transitional hit upon unacceptable abuse in our society, especially upon unsuspecting and helpless victims.
Note that Fleury started his walk on the 14th, just a day (as is the case for Mars-Algol) before the Sun Conjunct Algol! What great timing!!
I had initiated a conversation about something I didn’t like being said to me and then the other person started talking about what they didn’t like about something I said to them a long time ago (but had never told me), skipping right over what I wanted to talk to them about.
I said to them: Hey, I’m #1 here. You’re coming in as a #2 but you’re a #1 too. If you have something to bring up, initiate a conversation about that topic (at that time) and be the #1 that you are. Otherwise, when you come in as a #2, you make me a #2 and I’m a #1 who doesn’t like going around and around in circles. And at the very least, address and acknowledge what I’m talking about, come to a resolution with me and then we can talk about your stuff.
If you have something to say, say it first. Don’t wait for the other person to open the door and follow in behind them. That’s not fair, empowering, or helpful.
Remember that you’re #1 and so are they.
Where’s your Mars? What Are You Tireless About? What Can You Go On Forever About?
* What house is your Mars in?
* Look for the signs Aries AND Scorpio. What houses are those signs on?
* What planets, if any, are in those houses?
* What are the themes of those houses?
* What signs or planets are in your house of Scorpio (8th house)?
+ My Mars is in the 7th (natural house ruler: Venus)
+ Aries is on the 3rd house cusp (natural house ruler: Mercury)
+ Chiron is in the 3rd (natural house ruler: Mercury)
+ Scorpio is on the 10th house cusp (natural house ruler: Mars)
+ Neptune is in the 10th (natural house ruler: Saturn)
+ Leo is on my 8th (natural house ruler: Mars)
+ Virgo stellium in my 8th (natural house ruler: Mars)
This is where I don’t give up, what I could do forever, what I can be tireless about — to the point of exhaustion:
I’m a long distance bike rider. I can speak assertively and fearlessly from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep. I speak with force and energy – quickly! I love trade and commerce and I’m a strong worker. I email, email, email. I phone, phone, phone. I have a daily blog and I write all over the darn place (forums, other blogs, social networking, on and off-line), quickly. Tweet, tweet. (Aries/Mars on the 3rd). I encourage people to speak their peace, have their voice heard, and to heal their communication challenges and I do this for myself too -Aries!! (Chiron in the 3rd). I don’t give up on relationships. I don’t shy away from difficult topics or challenges when I’ve obligated myself or chose to be under contract. (Mars in the 7th). I delve deeply into the occult science. I’m seen as a 24/7 psychic bridging the natural world to the supernatural world. Always on, ready to read. LOL (Scorpio on the 10th, Neptune in the 10th). I create, create, create. I’m an entrepreneur and will readily come up with new services, websites, service names, etc. I will lead when others will only follow. I get down to the depths of art and drama. Creative, role player. ;-) (Leo on the 8th). I think, think, think. I delve into minutia. I take big and complex things a part to make them small and easily digestible. Mental sex?! I’ve been known to be a tease ;P (Virgo stellium in the 8th). I don’t have any planets in Aries and only Scorpio Neptune!!
As usual, just skimming the surface.
Where’s your Mars? What Are You Tireless About? What Can You Go On Forever About?
These are your gifts, the energy that gets self-replenished — this is where your PASSION flies.
(Notes: We could include Pluto for Scorpio; however, I really wanted to stick to pure Mars (traditional signs/planets) for this chart reading trick™. Use whatever house system you want.)
One of my clients asked why clumsiness occurs.
My response was that clumsiness, from a psychic perspective, is a result of unexpressed negative impressions.
These negative thoughts are usually about other people or situations that one *feels* should have been, could have been — avoided.
Also, it’s likely these thoughts were about not wanting to take responsibility for one’s actions (blaming someone else) OR not expressing honest feelings. And because these negative feelings and thoughts are not expressed well enough or verbally, it turns into an accident. Clumsiness or accidents become an outward manifestation communicating inner turmoil.
As humans, we have a knack for expressing things no matter what, and these expressions are released in any which way that they can and often for maximum impact.
(Originally published Jun 7, 2009 @ 22:08 with additional modifications, as is below… I think my Mercury Conjunct South Node in the 8th, analytical psychologists hat was on when I came up with this! *grin*)
From an astrology perspective… an afflicted Mars, Aries, or Mars in Aries retrograde along with Uranus, can also cause clumsiness or “accidents” as it’s related to speed, aggression, along with a surprising suddenness via obstacles and imbalance.
The 7th House: Committed & withdrawn relationships, Contracts & obligations, Projection & ownership, Giving & getting, Attraction & Retraction, Conflict & co-operation, Domination & submission, Self & Other Development
In this blog, I find it best to mostly write about my personal and professional experiences when sharing astrological insights. It flows better and faster. Hope that’s welcome.
I have my Sun Conjunct Mars in Leo in the 7th house. I might as well be a supercharged fire sign because this aspect is like being an honorary Aries and Martian and I’m already a Leo.
I can see why they say Sun Conjunct Mars can ooze sex appeal (David Bowie!). However, I’m not as self-oriented as this aspect might suggest because it’s in the natural house of Libra, which is just the other side of the coin of Aries. I’m also a good sport, if the other is too. However, if the other goads at my loss — I’ll want to smite them! So play nice.
Also, while I’m an extremely sexual / sensual being, I have a stellium in the 8th in Virgo (with Venus being in there) so I’m not sex-crazed in the classic sense. My Virgo gives Leo a dose of humility, chastity, and honor. Again, this is why I’d have to read your chart to see how (for example) Sun Conjuct Mars affects you personally.
I’m not a typical Leo in that historically other is just as important as self, if not more-so. But it also means that I have tended to be happiest taking a leadership or creative role in any partnership, while continuously encouraging and requesting equality, input, and assertivness (getting needs met) from the other (and that includes clients!).
Whenever you have planets in the 7th, relationships become a heightened theme for you and partnering, being in a committed relationship, and getting married is almost a given. What’s in your 7th, decides your partnering fate.
With Mars in the 7th, I attract a lot of different things to me. Given it’s also the house of projection, it’s hard to sort out what is mine and what is theirs. And who initiated an action, thought or, feeling first. Thankfully, my Virgo stellium keeps me in check and honest as well as holding a mirror to the other person when they’d like to suggest I’m the only one who has an edge.
However Mars in the 7th or Aries on the 7th house cusp can cause the native to be aggressive, assertive, active, competitive, sexual, passionate, and initiating action. But it can also cause the same in return, especially when the native asserts themselves in anything Aries related. Even non 7th house Mars people, who are normally more docile, can get their back up with a 7th house Mars partner. In fact, they can incite a similar Martian response. Remember that Mars in the 7th is in the house of Libra and Libra likes to mirror – hence the projection.
We all have Mars and Aries in our charts and with a 7th house Mars, that energy gets directed into 7th house themes.
It’s kind of a damned if you do and damned if you don’t scenario in that a Mars in the 7th is limited in how they want to naturally express themselves before the boomerang effect gets ignited.
I personally strive for conscious self-awareness. I opt for co-operative sports and games with partners. I do my best not to play against my partners. And when I play on my own, I do my best to have horse blinders on (after scoping out what’s there) and just do my own thing. But I can also be too cocky sometimes and the occasional statements of “I won” (in a non-partner thing, that is) is something I really have to keep in check.
I also like strong characters who will stand up for themselves and if they didn’t before I met them, they will after knowing me for awhile. And that’s one gift a Mars in the 7th can give to others, if they allow that to happen.
Having said all this, people (readers and witnesses to my work, even) can become competitive — even clients sometimes . I think this is due to my Sun inspiring their confidence. If she can do it, I can too. Or I want to do what she’s doing. She appears more powerful and greater than I. I want to be greater. Unfortunately with Mars hanging out with the Sun, I can have people get competitive with me and that’s not something I enjoy at all. I support the star in every person.
But let me tell you something… Sun Conjunct Mars is no wall-flower. We work crazy-hard — too hard. Often, nothing is handed to us on a platter for us (Aries, self-directed!). You get to see the end result but the hours, effort, and sacrifice, you probably don’t. Our success doesn’t come cheap. So when we have someone ride our coat-tails and get the rewards, we generally don’t like it.
And also know that I’m constantly in awe at the brilliance of others. In other words, I’m not thinking that I’m more powerful or greater than anyone else.
Leo is in domicile with the Sun for a reason. Positive Leos appreciate, enjoy others marketing, belief in themselves, and their starshine. While I wouldn’t probably date a Leo man, I do love watching them dance like a peacock. It gives me great joy to see them feel so good about themselves. I rarely perceive it as arrogance, an oft thoght of word from non-Leos when thinking about Leos.
So if you find yourself getting your back up, feeling competitive, etc., know it’s probably my Mars in the 7th and try to be gentle. It’s an opportunity to connect with your own competitive, aggressive, fearless, and sexual nature. Also, just let me know. Seriously, it’s okay. Be real. Be authentic. I F-up, a lot. I just realized I did that tonight when I mentioned I had done something one year before someone else. It wasn’t to discount their success though I can very well see it could be taken that way (as competitive). It was my Virgo being precise and my desire to say: Hey, I relate.
But in saying that, I will absolutely tell you that I AM competitive but generally with myself. As in, I like to break my own records and do my own thing. And the worst thing that a Sun Conjunct Mars native can do is watch what anyone else is doing. Always, always either a) applaud the greatness of others or b) don’t look! ;)
Sun Conjunct Mars has been my biggest problem in life until astrology came along to let me know what the problem was! It was really hard to get my head around. And many Mars in 7th can’t believe or accept that they might be inciting aggressive and competitive behaviour in others. We’d rather think it is the other. But that’s the case with projection and the 7th house. And before any non-Mars person gets smug (smile) we ALL project. We ALL have a 7th house. And we ALL, at some point or another have thought: He or She did it. It’s them. They’re the unreasonable quack-job.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news: You’re a quack job too. ;P
Now back to Mars in the 7th. It’s like having Mars Conjunct Venus so the opportunities to get jiggy with someone else (very early in life too) is quite immense. And with the Sun in there, you’re shining your warm and light on your partners. They get a happy pill if they can keep you happy and not meet your assertiveness with a counter-attack.
Well this got a whole lot longer than I expected!! I have a lot to say about this aspect and placement because it hasn’t been easy on me and I have been determined to make it a completely positive experience for myself and hopefully, you too. So I’ll be doing a series on the 7th house, over time.
Busy day today. Much love, happiness, and success to all! ★ ♥ ★
A Mars-Saturn and Mars Rx saying.
Magical action. Magical sex. Active imagination. Aggressive addictions. Drugged action. Dissolving self. Soft action. Healing innovations. Medicine man or woman: A healer.
Earth is sandwiched between Venus and Mars.
Love, Art, Money, Beauty, Ambition, Sex, Identity, Activity, Women, Men, Femininity, and Masculinity make the world go around.
Earthlings get caught in the middle of Libra (partnerships) and Aries (self-hood). Human beings feel the push and pull, yin and yang of peace and war, love and hate.
As a whole, we try to express the interdependent space between co-dependence and independence — an ‘at-one’ with others and ourselves.
On the surface, Venus spews her “love, not war”, “we’re in it together” campaign, while Mars suggestively asserts “all for one, and one for all (get it?!)”, “fight, instead of flight”, behind closed doors. We often end up feeling a tug-o-war — an us vs. them. An I, vs. we. And yet, it’s neither for Earth.
We ask ourselves: What is real? Am I crazy? Is it me or other?
As we are showered with Venus (Air, Earth) and Mars (Fire) themes in our everyday lives, we can benefit from remembering that we’re from EARTH (full of water).
Where’s your Mars? What do you ignite others to act upon or be assertive and self-oriented? For me, my Mars is in the 7th. I inspire others to assert themselves in partnership with me. I encourage partners to get their needs met while meeting the needs of the other. The style (Leo) in which I do this is dramatic, animated, dominant, warm, and friendly.
I knew Tiger-eye was connected to Leo and awhile back I read an article about a study that says Leos make the best drivers so I find it awesome that the following tip was given on what to use crystals for!
Put them in your car!
- Placing a golden tiger-eye in your car will help to protect you and your car against accidents. Place the stone in a secure place where it will not roll around or get lost. I suggest wrapping it in wire, attaching it to a cord or chain, and then hanging it from the rearview mirror.
What’s also interesting is that Mars-Uranus can be connected to vehicular accidents (going too fast, sudden accident).
Mars rules Aries, Trines Leo. And Uranus rules Aquarius, the opposite of Leo. Also, the third house (ruled naturally by Mercury) is connected to driving short distances and is ruled by Gemini (Sextiles Leo) while Sagittarius naturally rules the 9th house (long distance travel) and is the other Trine to Leo.
What an astro-crystal connection or rather astrogasm!
“When Saturn says no, Mars can’t go.” Abella Arthur
Jupiter ruled 8th house. Desire to form one’s own religion, philosophy, culture, cult, values, that others follow — especially with Mars & Pluto.
I think the Mars Square Saturn aspect comes down to respect. In natal charts – self-respect and respect of authority figures, in synastry charts – respect of other, who may be an authority on something you’re not.
Turning Mars-Saturn in hard aspect to a harmonious one:
Tip #1 – Acknowledge the old man (Saturn) for his experience, hardship, and wisdom.
Tip #2 – Take your time. Keep commitments. Discipline yourself. Avoid distractions.
Tip #3 – Make a plan, then work your plan. Don’t rush the process but be FEARLESS.
Originally published April 9, 2011
People who agree with us (Venus), make us softer, allow us to accept / see ourselves, and bring us closer to our destiny. We feel loved & admired.
People who don’t agree with us (Mars), make us stronger, allow us to work on / see ourselves, and bring us closer 2 our destiny. We come alive.
Without Mars, how can we truly appreciate Venus?
Last year I was about to finish the last three major arcana meanings from the tarot but then Saturn forced Mars to a halt. I hope to get it finished soon, then on to the minor suits. I think everyone should write their own tarot book of keywords and descriptions, especially tarot teachers.
If you’re wondering how: Sun Conjunct Mars, is the answer. It acts like Aries going way over the speed limit. Aries on my 3rd house cusp. 90+WPM.