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The Diary of a Pro Astrologer, Tarot Reader, Numerologist, Psychic, Commentator, Social Worker, Mental and Emotional Athlete, People Mechanic, Biking Babe, Occultist, Artist, Meist, & YOUR Wisdom Guide.

Marshall Rosenberg: Non-violent Communication *Memnon*

Memnon

“Please do as I requested ONLY if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck. Please do not do as I request if there is any taint of fear of punishment if you don’t. Please do not do as I request to buy my love. That is hoping I will love you more, if you do it. Please do not do as I request if you will feel guilty if you don’t. Please do not do as I request if there is any shame. And certainly do not do as I request if out of any sense of duty or obligation.” ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

I’ve often said to people, “Do it with joy, or don’t do it at all.”. Because to do it any other way, would taint the beauty of the giving. And do not compromise your needs. You may find another way than what you originally thought of, but it then ought to become what you want – not a compromise!

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Men (Aries) and Women (Libra) in Romantic Relationships: Sex and Love

Opposites. Men (Aries/Mars/Sex) opposite Women (Libra/Venus/Love) My thought about men and women, in romantic relationships… men don’t stay with or love a woman, for the sex. Yes, they tend to want, or have sex on the mind more than women (in general, no absolutes here) but here’s the kicker – you’ll get a woman to stay with you / love you for the sex — GREAT sex. A man’s Mars! Saturn (Capricorn/Libra), Pluto (Scorpio). What keeps a man, to a woman? Your love. Your acceptance, compassion, understanding, joy, positivity, optimism – your Venus (Libra/Taurus), Jupiter (Sag / Pisces), and Neptune (Pisces). In an ideal relationship, for many, sex AND support are crucial to happiness. But men and women are different in that what holds them to you, what makes them truly fall in love with you — it is counter-intuitive to what you think does. Through many studies, it’s been stated that biologically women seek support (emotional, financial, and whatever) and I have found that to be true (even with the feminists). But again, that is not what makes her fall in love with you or stay with you. That, my friend is Oxytocin – the bonding hormone, and that my friend gets released in spades when we get the big O and lots of super duper cuddles. So don’t skimp out my het male friends – give your girl the squeeze. And the women, go easy on your man’s ego. In fact, shower him with praise and joy!! Happy Venus day / weekend. Get your love on. <3

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Venus: Relationships (Libra-Aries) & Love (Taurus-Scorpio)

Note: I’m heterosexual, and this article is written with a personal blog perspective. While my writing could be applied to all forms of relating, this is what I know best and I tend to enjoy writing from experience.

Ask yourself these two questions:

  1. Do you want the relationship you’re currently in, or to be in one?
  2. Do you want to love the person you’re with, or be in love?

What are you (Aries) doing about it, to create and loving and vibrant relationship (Libra) for you and your person of interest?

The first question I’ve asked — asks for a commitment (Libra), and dedication (Taurus). The second question asks for vulnerability (Aries), and passion (Scorpio). Yes, a healthy Aries is vulnerable because they’re strong.

If you’ve noticed, I haven’t asked about having sex (Mars).

Frankly, I strongly believe (and astrology indicates this) if you don’t have #1 and #2 (Venus) first, then having #3 (Mars) is often a sure disaster. And while some people believe it takes a long time to love someone, I don’t agree. But I do think it can take a long time to see if someone is compatible, but that’s the logic side of Libra — not love (Taurus).

To be personal, I had sex fairly quickly (within two weeks) with my ex husband but we then became joined at the hip and we were together for 10 years. But the most important thing I discovered was that #1 — he wanted to be in a relationship AND #2 — he loved me rather quickly (love at first sight), so it made sense to have #3.

These days it seems like a lot of guys want to skip #1 and #2 for themselves, and go straight to #3 (Mars) BUT expect YOU to do #1 and #2 (Venus) all on your own. Waaaaa?? LOL Yeah buddy, it doesn’t work that way. Good try though. LOL

They don’t want to commit because it’s like a dating buffet out here on the internet and they’re abusing the nonsensical friends with benefits (fwb) arrangement aka FREE SEX. And they don’t want to be vulnerable, unless or in place of you being vulnerable because… eh, I haven’t figured that one out yet. Anyone know??

But the full package is Venus and Mars. That’s Venus combined with Mars. Venus without Mars, and Mars without Venus is not a full romantic relationship — it’s sex or it’s friendship but it’s not both.

“Careful consideration of your options and goals will lead to wiser choices at the times of activity, and a gradual transformation from self-preoccupation to becoming more aware of the rights and feelings of others will be a great step for you to make.” Source: Astromatrix

Not even the proverbial fwb person is really a friend. Why? Because at it’s core, this arrangement lacks respect. And your true friend will respect you, and vice versa. So if you’re respecting (2nd house – Taurus) yourself, your friend, and vice versa — you’re not having an fwb situation. Fwb is a misnomer. Yes, Venus is related to friendship and Mars is related to sex BUT if the man REALLY likes you (the logic part of Libra) — he’ll want more than just sex with you. He’ll want you all to himself (Aries). And he’ll focus on  Love (Taurus), and commitment(Libra). Fwb lacks love. Fwb is missing something. Fwb is seriously flawed, and like an aberration. Fwb is more of an Aquarius, 11th house, Uranian thing. An acquaintance. Fwb is a Mars-Uranus arrangement, that leaves the female (Venus) out of the picture. Her Venusian wants, and desires are left out of the equation. Uranian energy is discordant, and the fwb arrangement is inconjunct to Venus (Taurus) even though it appeals to a side of Venus (Libra trines Aquarius).

Anyway, fwb is like a whole other article or BOOK. Is there a book out there yet on this subject? Could be… lol

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Life Skills (Words of Wisdom): The Life Cycle – Happiness and Accomplishments

(originally published June 20, 2005)

The Life Cycle:

  • Introduction
  • Growth
  • Maturity
  • Decline

I love The Life Cycle — often used in business regarding products — because it is a universal principle that applies to so many life issues.

I’m going to illustrate how The Life Cycle affects our happiness and accomplishments in life:

Note: A “crisis” section underneath each phase is written to state the “challenging” aspects of the phase moving forward.

The INTRODUCTION phase is about the newness of the thing. In relationships, that can be first meetings and in work, the first weeks. It’s about discovery and possibilities.
Crisis If one is always looking for the new, then nothing can grow and that deep intimate knowledge can never happen. A lot of superficiality can occur.

The GROWTH phase  is about making things “happen”. In relationships, this can mean moving towards getting a place together, vacationing, and blossoming the relationship with “truths” and healing each other’s “pasts”. In work, this can mean being in charge of a project that has a great effect on the work place.
Crisis If people get stuck in the growth stage it will be difficult to make something “worthwhile” happen!

The MATURITY phase is about standardizing and stabilizing. In relationships, this can mean getting married, having babies, getting a house, etc. etc… In work, this can mean setting standards, creating documentations, policies and procedures.
Crisis If you don’t allow innovation and the intro, growth cycle to re-occur — the road leads to decline and that means having to scramble to re-new the situation. Good planning allows for change.

The DECLINE phase is about staleness. The relationship might undergo a divorce, separation, or an affair. In work situations, a lay-off, wanting to quit, or huge dissatisfaction might occur.
Crisis If this stage comes to the surface, it’s hard to dig oneself out of the situation. A lot of people run and cut their losses but it doesn’t have to be that way.

We all have a “place” or two that we love to hover over. For me it’s the “Maturity and then back to Growth stage”. In my case, when it comes to work, this means that I love to put together plans, document processes and procedures, and help stabilize; however, I DO NOT want to be stuck in what I created or be forced by upper management or clients to succumb to my own designs. I want the option of re-visiting, updating, and innovating. Certifications, plans, processes, and programs are just “guides” or “tools” for a smoother ride but it doesn’t make or break anything.

But if I don’t have the option of growth, I usually quickly have a DECLINE crisis and might choose to terminate the relationship.

Some may enjoy the DECLINE stage.  For example, people who buy foreclosed homes, or feel want to retire.

Why is any of this important?

Because once you understand which area of the cycle you like to be in, you can either a) advise the people you live and work with or b) do things that allow you to stay in the cycle that’s most comfortable and that can be done in a healthy way.

Finally Revolve the Cycle. This can be achieved by:

  • understanding which state you are likely to hover over;
  • communicating that to the people that need to know (including yourself);
  • doing something that allows you to stay in that state for as long as possible while cycling out to maintain balance.

 

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Synastry: The Rationale Behind Why Great Aspects Combine With Horrible Ones

We hook up with people to work out our own difficult natal placements. Find theirs or yours in your synastry and composite and you’ll know what they are — and why you’ve combined with another.

Why is it that you can then have a HUGE amount of ‘great’ and ‘beautiful’ placements in your charts but the relationship won’t survive or will be incredibly challenging? The answer is in orgasm and reproduction.

The universe knows we’re not going to engage in something very painful unless there’s a reward for it. So you’ll get those intensely wonderful aspects to counter the incredibly hurtful one’s you’ll experience and NEED to experience to develop as a human being on this earth. There’s no free ride, this is EARTH — hard, cold, dirty.

But the universe has provided the SUN, 5th house — to give you PLAY time to make up for the hard truths and lessons that Saturn delivers.

For example, the Gods have us ‘making babies’ even when those we are making them with are often not suitable.

I wonder which of the planets devised that wicked plan to populate the Earth. :-) Come out, come out, wherever you are… Pluto or Saturn?! Maybe Pluto AND Saturn. lol

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Fixed star Algol, Taurus: The Sexual, Emotional, & Psychological Drives of Heterosexual Men with Algol

 

 

Fixed Star Algol

For those that follow the Astrogasm blog but not my VirgoVault blog, I thought I would point out an important article on Algol and the Medusa Myth that I recently wrote up.

My astrology, which may be noteworthy to this article, include: Virgo the Virgin stellium in the 8th house of Scorpio (sex, death, psychology, etc). Moon, Mercury, Venus, Pluto, Vesta, and South Node. Mercury and Pluto, not conjunct, reside in the 8th. Uranus Libra straddles the 8th and 9th with Medusa conjuncting it. Minerva and Athene are in my 7th house conjunct my Sun which is conjunct my Mars. Neptune is in my 10th.Pallas is in my 2nd house in Pisces and conjunct my North Node. I have Algol, as a degree, in my 4th house. It is not conjunct anything though the closest conjunction would be with Saturn, if it were in orb.

The main players in this story are:

  • Medusa, Virgin Priestess of Athena (Vestal Virgin) — assigned Virgo, then transformed into Scorpio
  • Neptune (aka Poseidon), Rapist or Seducer — assigned Pisces
  • Minera (aka Athena),Virgin Goddess — assigned Scorpio
  • Mother, the missing water sign — assigned Cancer

The Heterosexual Man and the Fixed Star, Algol

Finding meaning in Algol… Read the full story on VirgoVault.

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Celebrity Reading on John Mayer: Reflecting on his Saturn Return , Pluto Square Pluto, & Other Things

In this video, John Mayer mentions achieving his goals, having to go back home to regroup, stardom, doing some immature interviews, and accepting the lessons and wisdom of Saturn, and accepting the undeniable force of Pluto forcing CHANGE.

Regarding the Rolling Stones interview, he says:
“It was sort of like rocking me into adult. It was a violent crash into being an adult. So for a couple of years it was like figuring it all out.” Sounds Plutonian to me. Actually the Pluto Square Pluto personal transit we go through around the ages of 33-35.

In his own words, he lets us know how he had refused to grow up, Saturn style and why he left the spotlight for two years.

“Go away. Be 33 and 34 instead of 28 for the fourth year.”

“Why not be happy after awhile. You get to a certain age where you prepare yourself for happiness, sometimes you never remember to get happy. So I remembered to get happy.”

As a Libra, he’s quite eloquent even if he says ‘off’ things now and then because he loves to tell the truth — publicly.

I find men who are 34 / 35 get a second wind if they were sleep walking through their Saturn Return or refused to grow up.

Unrelated: John has one of the most popular vocalist’s signature: Sun Conjunct Mercury and while we don’t have his time of birth, it’s probably in the 10th (if he has an interception) or 11th house which would make him a Sagittarius rising and that makes sense to me given his history with women (and his need to publicly SPILL — upside down bowl aspect pattern). I mean, Moon Conjunct Neptune in the 1st would account for why the women he dated felt so fooled.

About Pluto Square Pluto

Transiting Pluto squaring its natal position (Pluto square Pluto) brings on a process of deep psychological change and transformation. Pluto rules the shadow side of us and when it squares itself by transit it brings out whatever is seething in us underneath the surface. In many ways the Pluto square represents a purification process where we can eliminate emotional and psychological toxins held in the body…

I’ve found that for many of my clients the Pluto square is also a time when they are being challenged to purify their motives and the way they express their personal power. This is especially true for those who have Pluto conjunct (within a few degrees) one of their personal planets. For instance, if Sun and Pluto are conjunct in your chart (John Mayer has this!), the Pluto square will also be squaring your Sun. This can be experienced as a real breakdown of your sense of identity (the Sun) and may feel like a part of your self is dying. The Pluto square will also challenge you to more fully “own” your personal power rather than using it in a more manipulative, covert way. By tuning into the purification process of the Pluto square you can begin to experience your power with more integrity.

James Jarvis, M.A.

Saturn demands that you grow up and it looks like Pluto helped Saturn make that happen for John.

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Natal Astrology: Venus Conjunct Saturn in the 7th House

I was looking through search terms today and saw: Venus Conjunct Saturn in the 7th House.

Since I have a lot of Venus, Saturn, 7th house, and Conjunction signatures I thought I’d offer a little blurb in case you come around looking for this information.

I suspect this is related to a love relationship, so that’s the direction I’ll take it (as it’s the most usual interest for natives when viewing the 7th house).

Basically this combination (the signs will also make a difference, by the way) says in predictive story-form:

You’ll have a pleasant relationship with an older or mature partner.  You may also be the older or mature partner, who is also quite pleasant and loving.

It’s likely to take you some time to settle down and find your ‘true love’ but when you do, you’ll not take the relationship lightly and will attract a long-lasting partner.  Your partnership will be bound by duty and fairness.

You can bring and receive great financial rewards in your relationship but you may also suffer hardships until you and your partner learn how to combine your resources with restraint and prudence while allowing money to bring more happiness into your relationship.


This is not an exhaustive description (just something off the top of my head) nor does it put the aspect / house placement much into perspective (at least, in my eyes).

For example, if you have Venus-Jupiter poorly aspected — you may feel especially despondent about whether you’ll ever find or be happy in a committed relationship.  But if it’s harmoniously aspected, you will have had many opportunities to partner but have held out!

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Quotes:Relationship Compromise

If compromises are fair and logically sound (Libra) in a relationship, they’ll be loved down the road and no one will have felt they gave anything up.

(Note: Saturn Libra is currently at 25° Rx and is opposite Sun Aries 29° and will soon be (by next week) in trine with Venus Gemini, currently at 12°.  I figured I ought to check this since I’ve written so much about Venus and Saturn lately and what do you know — the planets are talking again!! :-D)

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Venus Square Saturn, in Synastry

Yesterday I wrote about Saturn’s role in synastry.  Today, I’ll write about one of the biggest aspects that keep lovers apart.

Since I don’t have a lot of time these days, I’ll make it quick.  However, do remember that I offer professional consultations and an appointment can be set-up with me so that I can read your chart in the very personal way it’s meant to be read.  It’s a treat!

“With this being my very first professional reading, Abella was very thorough in her
approach and very helpful in educating me in areas that needed to be addressed.  I
felt very comfortable with her style as she has an ease about her as if I have known
her all my life.  I will continue to consult with Abella and will recommend her to
fellow star gazers!” – Recent Testimonial…

Learn more about Venus Square Saturn on this blog (use search) and my two part series about Venus Square Saturn on VirgoVault (my other blog).

Now on to my thought about Venus Square Saturn in synastry especially if there’s a twin aspect (Your Venus Squares their Saturn and vice versa).

Bottom-line? No-go for most.

Saturn in square with Venus is saying: You have responsibilities, commitments, and duty to another love.  You can not get into a new relationship with Venus until your prior hardships (including financial) and karma are fulfilled.

This aspect, in synastry, is telling the Saturn person that they need to have integrity, that they may be too mature and serious for the Venus person, and that if they want Venus bad enough they’ll have to take the high road and proceed with caution and due diligence.

The Saturn person passes this message on to Venus very subtly, almost to the point of not acknowledging what’s going on between them because the Saturn person dare not suggest something out of line or they may suffer dire consequences and potentially, humiliation.

Time and patience are required.  And the road is long and hard should you desire someone who has Saturn in aspect to your Venus and vice versa.

Saturn needs to be true and faithful to himself (herself) and others (Libra exalted) in order for anything to work out with Venus.  Venus must not ignore this need, and test — that Saturn endures.

If you’re the Venus and you want a pretty, ideal picture of a normal relationship with a Saturn in square — you likely won’t get it in the short term (if ever).

But in the end, it’s always our choice and karma to do what we will.  Just be prepared and plan for the challenges and inevitable obstacles ahead!

If you want to learn more about handling a Venus Square Saturn or ANY Venus-Saturn aspect, I’d be happy to consult with you.

 

 

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Venus Square Saturn, Being Rejected, & How To Overcome It

Venus Square Saturn on Rejection

Please note: If you want to get a more thorough treatment of Venus Square Saturn, please visit my two part series on VirgoVault.

The native can feel that their love, affection, financial portfolio, artistry, and/or beauty are being rejected and that very well may be the case.

Most of us encounter rejection — not being able to play our music loud at 1am, not getting that loan we wanted, or not being someone else’s type. But it’s how the Venus Square Saturn native deals with normal rejection that sets them apart.

What is rejection anyway? Are you being rejected in whole or in part? Why is the person rejecting something you do, say, or offer? Is it personal?

We all have the right to reject what we don’t like, what doesn’t resonate with us, what doesn’t make us happy, etc. even if we do not get our wishes fulfilled — even Venus Square Saturn natives.

The Venus Sq. Saturn native can do well with not taking rejection personally and to remember that they too reject things, and parts. And it may be their own strong and harsh rejections that makes them acutely aware and sensitive when it comes time for an aspect in themselves to get rejected.

Ve 90° Sa may also want to find out why something is being rejected and consider whether that is something they are willing to change or accept it’s just how they are and they need to find that loan, or love elsewhere.

And a square has the opportunity to become a supercharged trine!!

by the way, I’m Venus Trine Saturn and I recently got rejected for an art installation.  My response: Meh… and NEXT… hey people, look at my artwork. :) Ha!

My stuff isn’t for everyone and I’m sure they have a good reason why they rejected my proposal.  And maybe they made the wrong decision but it’s a mute point because they prefer one thing over another and that’s just life.  Onwards and upwards!! <3

So my suggestion is to strive for my attitude when it comes to rejection, and use the square energy (while turning your square into a supercharged trine) to get you closer to your best match.

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Meeting New Friends or Lovers During a Retrograde

Any connection begun during a retrograde may only be temporary.  The other possibility is that there will be a re-connection during the next retrograde period as the person reflects the connection, re-connection, or disconnection.  We could say then that any new relationship, friendship, job, etc. that starts during a retrograde will not only end or be on shaky ground during a retrograde but will also be renewed again on the next one because a retrograde forces us to examine, introspect, and judge as per what the planet and sign that it’s retrograding in governs.

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Relationship Longevity: Venus-Saturn

If you are seeking a loyal best friend or lover for a lifetime, ensure they have Venus in harmony with Saturn either natally, or in synastry, composite.

If it’s not present, be cautious about handing over your heart as they may be fair-weather contacts.  In fact, it’s best that it exists natally as well as being in synastry.

I have Venus Trine Saturn natally. If I’m your friend, I’m your friend for life — that’s if you’ll have me (synastry).  That’s if you or we have Venus in harmony with Saturn. :D

Venus Trine Saturn natives are able to have fall-out’s with loved ones and then fall right back in when the air has been cleared.  They understand challenges, difficulties, and can handle trails and tribulations.  They want things to work, are prepared to learn how, and will be patient during the process.

If they were around before you suffer a crisis, they’ll be there for you during and after.  So take care of your Venus Trine Saturn friends and loved ones — they are your rocks in good and bad times! ;P

Venus Trine Saturn (like Venus Capricorn / Saturn Libra) natives are responsible, and dedicated to their commitments.  They do not enter or leave relationships easily or lightly and are fair minded. Sometimes they stay in relationships past their due date but their high amount of integrity doesn’t look back on their behaviour with regret — they did the right thing, even if the other didn’t.

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Sun Square Uranus, in Synastry

In synastry, Sun Square Uranus is something to steer clear away from… unless both parties are aware and mature.

(Note: A lot of people keep finding this post on Google.  If you have a question about this aspect, please ask because I hardly wrote anything about it.  Cheers!)

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