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The Diary of a Pro Astrologer, Tarot Reader, Numerologist, Psychic, Commentator, Social Worker, Mental and Emotional Athlete, People Mechanic, Biking Babe, Occultist, Artist, Meist, & YOUR Wisdom Guide.

The Social Psychology of Takers & Givers & Why It’s So Wrong

/ By / In Philosophy, Teaching, Abella, Words of Wisdom / Leave Comment

Do people understand that eventually if they keep “taking”, the “giver” is going to stop giving?

Some guy on a blog said there needs to be givers and takers for an equal balance, but said straight-up that most people are “takers”. Well, if most people are “takers”, and few are givers (I’m one) — then how the heck does that work?

I agree with him that ideally there are takers and givers between us; however, in equal or reciprocal measure. I take sometimes, you give sometimes, it switches — and it all works out in the end without keeping score.

But eventually the givers will stop giving because you don’t have to keep score to notice you’re on the losing end (giving, and giving and others taking, and taking).

I imagine the takers will go elsewhere when the giving stops. And if they never appreciated what they got, I guess then it doesn’t really matter — good riddance to them.

But it’s unfortunate when I have to hold back (against my own very generous nature) because there are too many takers ready to suck me dry. In other words, it comes down to me doing self-care, self-interest, and self-responsibility.

And if people, in general, gave more — I wouldn’t have to concern myself with holding back. I wouldn’t have to think about not exhausting myself, or avoid giving too much so I don’t give the message that it’s okay to use me — when it’s not.

But I’m Sun Leo in the 7th (ruled by Venus, Juno, Libra) and have Jupiter-Uranus Libra — so my views are a little skewed or screwed! LOL

Quinn commented on FB post I wrote about this topic: I can see why the business world was needed, most people are too tight fisted and have to be practically forced to hand over their cash. And I believe that to be sadly true. Another commenter said that they think it’s a “fear of loss”, “so they hold on so tight to what they have”. And another said, “I think people fear maybe that the giving will cease, and fear makes us all fucking stupid.”

What I find strange is that Takers like to think of themselves as decent people. And they are the first to say they don’t want to be lied to, cheated, or used — so they will go out of their way NOT to give you anything for fear of that happening… which means the have NO Problem doing that to you, even if you give to them!! LMAO… Can we get a Hell Yeah for PROJECTION?!?!?!

My mind boggles and bobbles at some people’s antics.
A selfish “friend” of mine said the other day that he had “nothing to give”… Oh My G! Really?! I will give these people the benefit of a doubt, and figure their sense of worth is soooo low that all they think they should be doing is taking since they feel they have NOTHING but that’s farthest from the truth.

I said, Can you help out? Can you move things? Can you do an errand? Can you make me a coffee? Can you use your musical talents to brighten my day?! I mean seriously, it’s as COP OUT to say you have nothing and the other person has everything so you must take from them.

Admit it: You’re selfish, and/or you feel worthless. And the one way for you to feel better is to take from those that aren’t, and don’t.

Some Guy’s Thoughts on Givers and Takers

My notes are in (parentheses) and in red.

A comment from the website, LovePanky, regarding an article on How to Stop Selfish People from Hurting You — How can you recognize a selfish friend or partner, and how do you stop them from affecting your life? Find out how to deal with selfish people here.

“their are two types of people.
givers and takers. in order for a relationship to work you have to have a balance between the two

two takers will never work for obvious reasons (Very true)

two givers will work but only for so long until (Not true)

a giver is a person that likes to please people (TRUE!), and will go out of their way to do so (Because they want you to enjoy life as much as possible!!), givers how ever want appreciation in return (um, yeah!!), and two givers wont work because they will fight for appreciation , i know it sounds ridiculous (say what?!) but its true.

(Yes, I DO want appreciation but two givers CAN work. You BOTH appreciate each other. This guy is likely a Taker and doesn’t understand reciprocity in the first place. LOL.. Oh and you don’t have to “fight” for appreciation — just give it, where and when appropriate. hehe).

the reason why a giver and a taker work so well, is because they compliment each others personalities. one will be appreciated, the other will be content (if you’re being used, I’m not sure how the taker is appreciating that beyond seeing you as LESS than them and feeling smug about that), the fact is that there are more takers in the world then their are givers (can I get a Yeah-HA… you nasties… LOL), identify who who are and be honest with what you want, all humans are selfish in the end (well, this is true… more or less… due to humans wanting to survive but there’s a difference between greed, being selfish vs. sharing and being self-interested)“.

From All Things Healing, June’s Top Five Astro-Events by Michael Wolfstar

Jupiter enters Cancer on the 26th where it remains through mid-July 2014. Empathy increases tremendously over the coming year, allowing a renewed spirit of generosity, forgiveness and tolerance to enhance all relationships, especially between family members. Over the next three weeks, as Mercury retrogrades through Cancer, think about where you can feel most at home.

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Astrology: The 2nd House of WORTH

/ By / In Houses, Words of Wisdom, Astrology / 4 Comments

When we know the language of astrology, we can all be gurus…

All language is divine, and astrology is no different. Astrology is essentially a bible of sorts.  A way to live. A guiding path or light, in dark days.

The second house has the sign of Taurus, ruled by Venus on its house cusp. Taurus is part of the element of Earth and it closely connects to Saturn (Capricorn), and Virgo (Vesta).

To learn more about the 2nd house, check out my full length article on the different aspects and themes.

We connect money to worth because money is one possible result of spending time (Saturn) and effort (Virgo/Vesta, sacrificial hard work).

Some people who have low self-esteem, low self-worth, or with the tendency of placing others above or before them — may give a lot of their time and effort (Taurean Venus-Saturn investment) without an equal level of return (money, love, appreciation, etc. — all 2nd house, Taurus, Venus themes), and when that happens — they feel used (ie Venus Square Saturn) and can give less (ie less love, 2nd house, Taurus, Venus themes). So people with low self-esteem, low self-worth, etc. may ALSO be takers, or become takers.

Many people are judged by much they are worth.

And your value can be based on a number of factors such as: How much money you have, who you know, and your status. But it can also be based on ROI – Return on Investment (eh, maybe business school was worth it after all! :P) — what potential you have to give back, or what you give back when someone else invests in you.

In my opinion — a smart, emotionally detached, and conscious person would say: If I put my time, and effort (and maybe money and other resources) into X — what are the chances that I will get anything back from X?

I don’t ask that question enough — maybe because the answer might not be what I want to discover.

When a person is of good stock or character, the ROI is often high.

Sometimes you will lose (giving to others), and sometimes you will gain (taking from others) — but in the end, when there’s a healthy give and take (Libra, Venus) — all are usually happy. And if you can’t give, you can’t truly love (Venus, 2nd House).

So when someone thinks you’re unworthy, they are saying that they think they’ll get less out of you, then they put into you — like a bank account (Taurus) that earns interest or not.

And if you think you’re unworthy, it may be because you do not give of your time, effort, and/or resources while taking what is not yours to really receive.

In that case, it would be true — that yes, you are indeed unworthy in that situation, event, circumstance, or as it relates to that person (as in — within a relationship) but only because you’ve made it a point to take rather than give.

And that’s how you can gain self-esteem and self-worth — by giving to others, without the thought of receiving, if you are historically a taker.

Because givers, who feel upset about others not appreciating what they give, actually DO have good self-worth and understand their value is high. That is unless the act of constant giving, and not taking — wears down on their own self-esteem and sense of value.

So the lesson of givers is to be in balance by taking a trip over to the 8th house (Pluto, Scorpio, who is co-ruled by Mars) — where they learn to accept and encourage people to give of their resources to them! They can also be in balance by giving to themselves, through the 2nd house.

The old saying goes: You need to spend money, to make money.
So you need to give, to get.
And if you are already giving, without getting — STOP.

You’ve spent too much, and profits will be slim or non-existent!

And if you’re getting, without giving and vice versa — there’s a cost to such an opportunity.

Eventually what you get, is going to dry up and you will also lose the opportunity of enjoying genuine self-esteem and self-worth. Or your self-worth and self-esteem will plummet, if you’ve been traditionally a giver.

So make the right decision.

Balance out your 2nd-8th opposition.

If you have been a taker, learn to give. Spend more, conserve less.

If you have been a giver, learn to take.  Spend less, conserve more.

Namaste.

Abella

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How Self-Interested Are YOU? Are you a Giver or a Taker?

/ By / In Abella, Psychology, Life Skills / Leave Comment

So… I have been going through “growing pains” ie. Doing self-work again, and I like to talk out loud while I’m repairing my problems, and hopefully get some careful feedback.

As a Leo Sun in the 7th, with Jupiter Libra (and there’s more indicators in my chart) I tend to give A LOT — far more than most people can reciprocate or rather CARE to reciprocate. Yet, I had complain/ed about reciprocation so I was advised to “do and give less” so there was room for the other to give.

I did. But this is what Isabel Hickey has to say about my Mercury in Virgo:
“[the native is] Apt to forget that the world is NOT ruled by reason, but by prejudice, emotion, and self-interest.”

Did I just hear that right? Me being reasonable means NOTHING to most of humanity?! LOL In fact, I imagine it would be a block in getting what most people want, because what they want isn’t reasonable, so no wonder! haha

Hickey said people are basically SELF-INTERESTED!!
Would it surprise you that I only thought self-interest occurred when people had to “pay for things” — not as it related to another human being?! LOL I’m in my 40’s!! And it wasn’t until about a year ago (through talk therapy where I have attempted to channel the SR Moon, Chiron, Neptune in 12th, constructively) that I was made aware of this fact.

I just thought people did the “right thing”, and it was always a head-scratcher when they didn’t.
But that could be my Virgo stellium getting in the way of reality (Saturn!). LOL

So anyway, I tried it out…

If I gave to people, but later recognized were “takers”, and then started to give less (to give them room to give) — what reality is there that would suggest they would start GIVING?! LOL…

Let me tell you folks: It doesn’t happen.
Some of these people may have been sociopaths (I know of one diagnosed case, after-the-fact). What they’re going to do is: Find someone else to give to them, and/or be the same as they were to you before.

How Self-Interested Are YOU? Are you a Giver or a Taker?

So the moral (antidote) of the story, is to: Hang around people who have good morals, and are givers (because I’m one, by nature). Your karma isn’t mine. Some people need to TAKE more (me), and others need to GIVE more (maybe you).

There are plenty of givers out there — I’ve met them. And frankly those are the people I need to spend more of my time with, because that’s where I will find reciprocity.

But my 8th house Virgo stell, sextiling my Neptune Scorpio 10th, is just not as attracted to healthy people, but I’m going to have to start. Because that’s the only way for ME to be healthy.

Of course, there’s an upside to being attracted to broken souls and that’s that I can care for them in a paid, therapeutic environment — where I don’t make them my personal problem.

Life, always a blast. <3

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