Note: I’m heterosexual, and this article is written with a personal blog perspective. While my writing could be applied to all forms of relating, this is what I know best and I tend to enjoy writing from experience.
Ask yourself these two questions:
- Do you want the relationship you’re currently in, or to be in one?
- Do you want to love the person you’re with, or be in love?
What are you (Aries) doing about it, to create and loving and vibrant relationship (Libra) for you and your person of interest?
The first question I’ve asked — asks for a commitment (Libra), and dedication (Taurus). The second question asks for vulnerability (Aries), and passion (Scorpio). Yes, a healthy Aries is vulnerable because they’re strong.
If you’ve noticed, I haven’t asked about having sex (Mars).
Frankly, I strongly believe (and astrology indicates this) if you don’t have #1 and #2 (Venus) first, then having #3 (Mars) is often a sure disaster. And while some people believe it takes a long time to love someone, I don’t agree. But I do think it can take a long time to see if someone is compatible, but that’s the logic side of Libra — not love (Taurus).
To be personal, I had sex fairly quickly (within two weeks) with my ex husband but we then became joined at the hip and we were together for 10 years. But the most important thing I discovered was that #1 — he wanted to be in a relationship AND #2 — he loved me rather quickly (love at first sight), so it made sense to have #3.
These days it seems like a lot of guys want to skip #1 and #2 for themselves, and go straight to #3 (Mars) BUT expect YOU to do #1 and #2 (Venus) all on your own. Waaaaa?? LOL Yeah buddy, it doesn’t work that way. Good try though. LOL
They don’t want to commit because it’s like a dating buffet out here on the internet and they’re abusing the nonsensical friends with benefits (fwb) arrangement aka FREE SEX. And they don’t want to be vulnerable, unless or in place of you being vulnerable because… eh, I haven’t figured that one out yet. Anyone know??
But the full package is Venus and Mars. That’s Venus combined with Mars. Venus without Mars, and Mars without Venus is not a full romantic relationship — it’s sex or it’s friendship but it’s not both.
“Careful consideration of your options and goals will lead to wiser choices at the times of activity, and a gradual transformation from self-preoccupation to becoming more aware of the rights and feelings of others will be a great step for you to make.” Source: Astromatrix
Not even the proverbial fwb person is really a friend. Why? Because at it’s core, this arrangement lacks respect. And your true friend will respect you, and vice versa. So if you’re respecting (2nd house – Taurus) yourself, your friend, and vice versa — you’re not having an fwb situation. Fwb is a misnomer. Yes, Venus is related to friendship and Mars is related to sex BUT if the man REALLY likes you (the logic part of Libra) — he’ll want more than just sex with you. He’ll want you all to himself (Aries). And he’ll focus on Love (Taurus), and commitment(Libra). Fwb lacks love. Fwb is missing something. Fwb is seriously flawed, and like an aberration. Fwb is more of an Aquarius, 11th house, Uranian thing. An acquaintance. Fwb is a Mars-Uranus arrangement, that leaves the female (Venus) out of the picture. Her Venusian wants, and desires are left out of the equation. Uranian energy is discordant, and the fwb arrangement is inconjunct to Venus (Taurus) even though it appeals to a side of Venus (Libra trines Aquarius).
Anyway, fwb is like a whole other article or BOOK. Is there a book out there yet on this subject? Could be… lol
